N. Bored Shyamalan Presents...The Bored Village

[M. Bored Shyamalan]

In a quiet, isolated cybervillage known as The Bored,
there lies a pact between the BBs of the cybervillage and
the creatures who reside on the fringe:
the BBs do not leave The Bored for advice of others,
and the creatures do not enter The Bored.


Scene: The inhabitants of The Bored gather as they do every day



They talk and play and even eat together






One thing is certain: no BBs are ever allowed to leave. They placed a boundary around their Bored to keep the BBs in…




and the creatures out




Scene: Meet Christie…



the blind daughter of the Bored administrator LB




Christie is in love with Marley and the two secretly plan to wed




They steal away to abandoned threads whenever they can







Scene: Christie asks Marley’s advice about some new technology, but he can not help her. No one in the village can help her.





Scene: Marley asks permission from his mother, Melly, to leave The Bored to seek outside advice



Marley: I ask permission to cross into the forbidden forums and travel to the nearest board.
I will gather grand advice for Christie, and I will return.
With regards to the creature, I am certain they will let me pass.
Creatures can sense emotion and fear. They will see I am pure of intention and not afraid.
The end.





Melly: It’s too dangerous, Marley. Those are wicked places where wicked people live. I’m afraid we can’t let you go.



Scene: A villager named BobJ also has feelings for Christie






He is jealous of Marley and nearly logs him off permanently




Scene: While BobJ is banished to an unused FNGD forum, Christie seeks advice on a new technology from her father



but he is unable to help her.



Scene: LB discusses the creature with Christie. They enter a special building at the edge of The Bored




LB: Christie...

Christie: Yes, father.

LB: Do your very best not to scream.




Christie: Is this-?

LB: Yes, it’s a creature costume. The moderators and administrators made it up to keep everyone from getting outside advice.
We call the creature “The Yook.”

Christie: The screams? From the other forums? I’ve heard them.

LB: We created those sounds. Or it came from BBs trying to solve a Tangredi.

Christie: What about the Merrymen? Are the elders responsible for them, too?



LB: That’s just mini, but it will not happen again. There is no one on this Bored who has not gotten bad advice from the outside world,
who has not felt loss so deeply that they questioned the very merit of posting at all.
Forgive us our silly lies, Christie. They were not meant to harm.

Christie: I am... sad for you, Papa. For all the moderators. But what you’re telling makes no sense.



LB: You haven’t seen many promos before, have you?

Christie: Not really.

LB: On this paper are the questions you need answered. It is common in the towns to ask these questions.
Follow the sounds of a political thread to guide you. A half-day's journey will bring you to a hidden forum.
You alone will follow the forum... and leave The Bored.
You are to tell no one where we are... and return with haste. I cannot come with you.
You need these answers. Are you ready to take this burden, which by right, is yours and yours alone?

Christie: I am, papa.


Scene: LB explains his decision to Melly



Melly: What have you done?



LB: She is in need of advice.



Melly: We have agreed never to go back. Never.

LB: What was the purpose of our creating The Bored? Don't forget, it was out of hope of something good and right.



Melly: How could you have sent her. She is blind.

LB: She is more capable than most on this Bored. And she is led by love. The world moves for love. It kneels before it in awe.
Besides, she brought along a fine quilt.


Scene: Christie sets off in search of a sound advice from outside The Bored village.



Unbeknowst to Christie, BobJ escaped from the FNGD forum and has donned The Yook costume



And the chase is on…




Christie makes a run for it…




The Yook makes a final attack…




But Christie waits on the edge of an abandoned forum…




The Yook falls into the forum, never to be heard from again




Christie: I’m too much of a lady to say this on the main forum, but since no one’s around:

Spoiler

FUCK YOU!!!

Scene: Christie continues on…



until she comes to the edge of The Bored




Scene: Christie exits The Bored and finds (and pays for) good advice





Scene: Christie returns to The Bored and meets up with Marley, now recovered.



Christie: "I'm back, Marley."





TEN! is back, too!
Returning to a village near you in May
Plus, a special Bored challenge tribute week

[mellytu74]

Once again, I thank M. Bored for casting me.

I am forever in your debt.

[Julia Child]

Who do I have to sleep with to get a role in the next bored promo?

[Loco Rovo]

Who do I have to sleep with to get a role in the next bored promo?

You can sleep here with me. I'm always on siesta time.... ZZZZZZZZZ

[MarleysGh0st]

Woo hoo! I got a leading role!!!

And a certain Mr. Uly is nowhere to be seen in the credits. Can it be his stranglehold on the casting process has finally been broken?

[tlynn78]

Who do I have to sleep with to get a role in the next bored promo?

I'm still lobbying for the gratuitous shower scene.

t.

[littlebeast13]

Who do I have to sleep with to get a role in the next bored promo?

I'm still lobbying for the gratuitous shower scene.

t.

You got it....

lb13

[christie1111]

OMG Vandal!

This was absolutely hysterical! Thanks for letting me know it was here!

And thanks so much for your sense of humor! Greatly appreciated!

[ulysses5019]

Woo hoo! I got a leading role!!!

And a certain Mr. Uly is nowhere to be seen in the credits. Can it be his stranglehold on the casting process has finally been broken?

Those auditions are beginning to wear on me...

[tlynn78]

Who do I have to sleep with to get a role in the next bored promo?

I'm still lobbying for the gratuitous shower scene.

t.

You got it....

lb13

LOL - found it!
You're a genius.

t.

[littlebeast13]

Woo hoo! I got a leading role!!!

And a certain Mr. Uly is nowhere to be seen in the credits. Can it be his stranglehold on the casting process has finally been broken?

Those auditions are beginning to wear on me...

Or your demands for compensation are starting to exceed $0.00.....

lb13

[littlebeast13]

I'm still lobbying for the gratuitous shower scene.

t.

You got it....

lb13

LOL - found it!
You're a genius.

t.

If I was a genius, ES would have beaten MBRS in there....

lb13

[ulysses5019]

Woo hoo! I got a leading role!!!

And a certain Mr. Uly is nowhere to be seen in the credits. Can it be his stranglehold on the casting process has finally been broken?

Those auditions are beginning to wear on me...

Or your demands for compensation are starting to exceed $0.00.....

lb13

Nahhh...I think I need new strategies for auditioning...maybe I'll ask marley...

[littlebeast13]

Those auditions are beginning to wear on me...

Or your demands for compensation are starting to exceed $0.00.....

lb13

Nahhh...I think I need new strategies for auditioning...maybe I'll ask marley...

My only advice is to wear a blue shirt. I heard that's good luck....

lb13

[ulysses5019]

Or your demands for compensation are starting to exceed $0.00.....

lb13

Nahhh...I think I need new strategies for auditioning...maybe I'll ask marley...

My only advice is to wear a blue shirt. I heard that's good luck....

lb13

I was thinking of wearing a red shirt at the audition for the new Star Trek...whadya think?

[ulysses5019]

Or your demands for compensation are starting to exceed $0.00.....

lb13

Nahhh...I think I need new strategies for auditioning...maybe I'll ask marley...

My only advice is to wear a blue shirt. I heard that's good luck....

lb13

I was thinking of wearing a red shirt at the audition for the new Star Trek...whadya think?

[littlebeast13]

Nahhh...I think I need new strategies for auditioning...maybe I'll ask marley...

My only advice is to wear a blue shirt. I heard that's good luck....

lb13

I was thinking of wearing a red shirt at the audition for the new Star Trek...whadya think?

Sounds fine to me, so long as I won't be attending with you...

lb13

[MarleysGh0st]

I was thinking of wearing a red shirt at the audition for the new Star Trek...whadya think?

They always need some red shirts in Star Trek!

As long as you don't care about reprising a role in a sequel...

[ulysses5019]

I was thinking of wearing a red shirt at the audition for the new Star Trek...whadya think?

They always need some red shirts in Star Trek!

As long as you don't care about reprising a role in a sequel...

Seems like my career has hit the skids anyway...

[littlebeast13]

I was thinking of wearing a red shirt at the audition for the new Star Trek...whadya think?

They always need some red shirts in Star Trek!

As long as you don't care about reprising a role in a sequel...

Seems like my career has hit the skids anyway...

That means you can't be far from D-list reality show circuit....

lb13

[Vandal]

I was thinking of wearing a red shirt at the audition for the new Star Trek...whadya think?

They always need some red shirts in Star Trek!

As long as you don't care about reprising a role in a sequel...

[littlebeast13]

I was thinking of wearing a red shirt at the audition for the new Star Trek...whadya think?

They always need some red shirts in Star Trek!

As long as you don't care about reprising a role in a sequel...

How many people know that's a Legend of Zelda reference?

lb13