A bane to all of us sweepers.BBTranscriptTeam wrote: $50,000 * Tangled Web
As a security measure at some Web sites, users are asked to read and retype groups of distorted letters and numbers called what?
A: SERCH B: BLANKIT
C: SKRAPE D: CAPTCHA
Answer
D: CAPTCHA ( 11 )
Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
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Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
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Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
Joey Gutmann
New York, NY
College Student and BB (clem21)
Joey says he's very excited to be there, "like a kid in a candy shop....How many kids my age get to do something like this?"
With any luck.... hopefully not many more. Kids your age do not belong on nationally televised trivia shows, they belong in school where they will hopefully be paying enough damn attention so that when they become well-respected MAWGs, they can finally beat their heads against the wall to attempt to get on a nationally televised trivia show. I do hope they had a diaper changing table in the green room....
He's a major game show fan, and has enjoyed trivia shows since he "was a kid, now I'm on one; how cool is that?" (Ed. Note: Um....clem? You're STILL a kid, kid!
).
Thanks a lot transcript guy. How many times have I said before to leave the side splitting comedy to me?
Meredith says that he's been studying hard for his hot seat appearance every day. Joey: "Yeah, I go to school on the subway, and I bring along my massive trivia books. I open them up and I get people looking at me like 'What is he doing?' and I'm like 'Oh, no, I'm being on a game show, it's not my fault!' Of course, that probably makes them think I'm even weirder."
You're worrying about looking weird on the New York subway!?!?!? You don't have to be John Rocker to appreciate the fact that much of the New York transit system is nothing but a gigantic weirdo convention. Actually, reading books that have words of more than 4 letters in them would probably make you a weirdo among weirdos. No wonder you're such a tough guy given how many times you've gotten your ass kicked on the subway by people with more tattoos than brain cells....
$100 (Animal Sidekicks): Still considered unlucky in many cultures, what creatures were once commonly thought to be the companions of witches?
A. Yellow birds B. Black cats
C. Tan horses D. Telemarketers
$200 (Red Alert): Which of these historical events involved nuclear weapons being pointed at the U.S.?
A. Battle of Gettysburg B. Spanish Inquisition
C. Cuban Missle Crisis D. Boston Tea Party
B. Spanish Inquisition (5)
New York, NY
College Student and BB (clem21)
Joey says he's very excited to be there, "like a kid in a candy shop....How many kids my age get to do something like this?"
With any luck.... hopefully not many more. Kids your age do not belong on nationally televised trivia shows, they belong in school where they will hopefully be paying enough damn attention so that when they become well-respected MAWGs, they can finally beat their heads against the wall to attempt to get on a nationally televised trivia show. I do hope they had a diaper changing table in the green room....
He's a major game show fan, and has enjoyed trivia shows since he "was a kid, now I'm on one; how cool is that?" (Ed. Note: Um....clem? You're STILL a kid, kid!
).Thanks a lot transcript guy. How many times have I said before to leave the side splitting comedy to me?
Meredith says that he's been studying hard for his hot seat appearance every day. Joey: "Yeah, I go to school on the subway, and I bring along my massive trivia books. I open them up and I get people looking at me like 'What is he doing?' and I'm like 'Oh, no, I'm being on a game show, it's not my fault!' Of course, that probably makes them think I'm even weirder."
You're worrying about looking weird on the New York subway!?!?!? You don't have to be John Rocker to appreciate the fact that much of the New York transit system is nothing but a gigantic weirdo convention. Actually, reading books that have words of more than 4 letters in them would probably make you a weirdo among weirdos. No wonder you're such a tough guy given how many times you've gotten your ass kicked on the subway by people with more tattoos than brain cells....
$100 (Animal Sidekicks): Still considered unlucky in many cultures, what creatures were once commonly thought to be the companions of witches?
A. Yellow birds B. Black cats
C. Tan horses D. Telemarketers
$200 (Red Alert): Which of these historical events involved nuclear weapons being pointed at the U.S.?
A. Battle of Gettysburg B. Spanish Inquisition
C. Cuban Missle Crisis D. Boston Tea Party
B. Spanish Inquisition (5)
Spoiler
NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! OK, OK...it was C. Cuban Missle Crisis.
You know, I worked up all this energy to tear clem apart, and it's the transcriptionist who is doing their best to get on my very last neuron. Don't make me go all Spanish Inquisition on your transcript writing ass....
$300 (Logo-a-go-go): Which of these companies originally had a logo that depicted Isaac Newton sitting beneath a fruit tree?
A. Toyota B. Apple
C. Pepsi D. Kleenex
$500 (Foreign Titles): Which of these movies was released in Montreal with the title "Les Girls de Las Vegas?" (sic)
A. Mean Girls B. Kiss the Girls
C. Uptown Girls D. Showgirls
$1,000 (Field of Dreams): Which of these pro baseball stadiums is named after the brother of a U.S. president?
A. RFK Stadium B. Jacobs Field
C. PNC Park D. Coors Field
It's too bad RFK hasn't been a professional baseball stadium in 2 years.... kinda like WWTBAM hasn't been a professional game show since the early part of this decade...
Joey has earned the ATE lifeline, which means he can now call upon Jim Cramer, the host of "Mad Money" on CNBC.
Oh wonderful. WWTBAM offering the tremendous help of a financial expert.... the same geniuses who put us in the worst recession this country's seen since video games quit costing a quarter to play....
Jim calls himself Meredith's "go-to guy." Then he and Meredith plug Jim's book, "Stay Mad for Life," which teaches people how to save their money.
Oh sure, this show has now stooped to having pseudocelebrities plug their stupid books nobody with half a fried brain would ever think of buying. You know what MBFFB®'s advice would be for saving your money? Don't watch this damn travesty of a show and you'll save thousands of dollars a year on antacid, aspirin and suppositories....
$2,000 (No Sweat): Which of these '90s song titles references a then-popular brand of deodorant?
A. Mama Said Knock You Out B. Smells Like Teen Spirit
C. Semi-Charmed Life D. Livin' La Vida Loca
Joey says he has an idea, but wants to ATA (18).
I've always wanted to say Clem stinks, and now if my perfect opportunity to do just that....
A. Mama Said Knock You Out - 7%
B. Smells Like Teen Spirit - 75%
C. Semi-Charmed Life - 6%
D. Livin' La Vida Loca - 12%
Joey admits that it wasn't what he was thinking, so he's glad he decided to ATA.
Even if I were stupid enough not to know any of the questions they would ever ask me, I would certainly never admit to my own idiocy on national TV. Don't forget to raise your hand if you're Sure... sure you're an damn moron that is....
Joey is known among his friends and family for two things: his smile and his sneakers. They're blue and orange (as they show, since he's wearing them).
I am well known among my friends... um, well, my family for many things. My shoes aren't one of them, and anyone who is known for their shoes is probably only connected to them through some kind of awful means.
His parents aren't as thrilled with them; his dad calls them his "Bozo the Clown shoes." He's worn them to his brother's wedding, his sister's graduation, and now on Millionaire.
That's only because the damn things have rotted to his feet....
Joey claims that they're very comfortable and "they bring me good luck sometimes."
What is that supposed to mean? My Einstein underwear bring me good luck sometimes, except the one time I was hit by a bus while wearing them. I had a heck of a time convincing my mom the skidmarks were from the tires....
Meredith asks Joey's mom, Shuli, who is in the audience, how she felt about them wearing them on the show, and Shuli said, "Doesn't every mother want to see their son on national television in big orange boats?" [Ed. Note: Clem, you're mom looked great and was very funny. You need to smile more, though, kid.]
Most mothers would want to see their son on national TV collecting a Nobel Prize, or a Congressional Medal, or at the very least in the background of a live news event. Appearing on a game show in "orange boats" would probably lie just above appearing in a Jackass segment and just below TV news mug shot....
$4,000 (Sliders): When a trombone player extends the instrument's slide, what happens to the note being played?
A. It gets higher B. It gets lower
C. It increases in volume D. It decreases in volume
Joey chooses to ATE (21). Jim admits he's not a musician ("none whatsoever").
Of course not, you were too busy saving your money to buy a musical instrument, or even purchase a damn 8 track.
He stares at the question for a while, then says "My 100% lack of certainty says that when you slide that instrument, it goes...it gets higher." Joey points out that "100% lack of certainty is 0% certainty" to which Jim says that "had I flipped a coin, my conviction rate would have gone up dramatically...
Is this really the kind of expert help the dumbasses who run this show really tried to bring to the table this year? I could've called my fatass neighbor and gotten a more convincing response than that about quantum mechanics. It's no wonder this country's on its way to financial ruin.....
I just think that the guy is obviously stretching, and when you think about it, when he stretches, it would be unusual to believe that a stretch would necessarily make something lower.
The more your ass stretches your mind out, Jim, the lower my confidence level in anything you have to say goes.... put that in your french horn and blow it....
The other one that looks tempting is decrease in volume, but you know what? I just think that it must be a way to be able to make it so that he stretches, and that the higher sound kind of figures more...logical to me."
Logical to you is goddamn horsecrap to the rest of the world....
Joey's response is that he's "glad you didn't yell at me!"
That's my job, Joey Joe, that's my job....
Joey decides to DD (16). His first guess, A[, is incorrect. His second guess, though, is right.
3 lifelines down, one to go... and 8 more questions. It's Maalox time....
$8,000 (Dance Fever): Which of these celebrities was not a competitor on the Fall 2008 season of TV's "Dancing With the Stars"?
A. A former boy-band star B. A celebrity chef
C. A Fortune 500 CEO D. A beach volleyball player
Joey says he remembers Misty May (a beach volleyball player) and a celebrity chef, and he thinks Lance Bass (a former boy-band member) so he goes with the fourth choice.
At least there were no insane financial experts, overly perky airheaded game show hosts, or clown in orange boats on the show....
$16,000 (Pricey Paint Jobs): "Le Bassin aux Nympheas," which sold for a record $80 million in 2008, is one of Monet's many paintings of what flowers?
A. Orchids B. Sunflowers
C. Chrysanthemums D. Water lilies
Joey agonizes for a few seconds, because he "knows what Monet is famous for painting, but [isn't sure] if every painting was it," but he wants to save his PAF, so he correctly goes with his gut.
Monet should've painted squirrels. How come none of the famous artistes of the world painted squirrels?
Joey is a 20-year-old college student who's known for his smile and orange sneakers and now for taking a big chance at Millionaire.
Wow, that was a really freaking big chance there, Clem. I took a bigger risk this morning getting out of bed and hoping I didn't fall and break my big, fat, fabulous neck....
Joey is a junior at Queens College and would like to go to law school. He told his parents, "You guys pay for college and I'll pay for law school." He'd like to do that.
Sounds like a typical lawyer already.... I should charge $700 an hour to write up these little critiques....
$25,000 * Who Am I?
Who is Jimmy Wales?
A: Founder of Wikipedia B: Christian televangelist
C: Godfather of reggae D: Founder of Starbucks
With 22 seconds left, Joey decides to Phone A Friend.
Joey's PAF team (who receive no introduction from Meredith) are Judy, Norman, OK; Aviv, Bronx, NY; and Michael, New York, NY. Joey calls Aviv, who is wearing comically large glasses in his photograph.
You should have called the brilliant lady from Norman.... I'd never trust a WE....
Meredith: You know, I'm looking at the picture that you gave Joey, to put on national television, and I'm just wondering about you.
Aviv: I'm crazy.
Who'd have ever guessed Clem would hang out with someone who's crazy.....
Joey reads the question and answers.
Aviv: I bet you'd like to know the answer to this.
Joey: You should.
Aviv: I'll sell it to you for a sandwich.
Joey: I'm sorry?
Aviv: I'll sell it to you for a sandwich.
Aviv may very well be the greatest PAF in this show's history.... even better than good ol' Pigeon from 3 years ago who was so scared shitless he couldn't even offer up a guess.....
Joey: Give me the answer!
Aviv: And a bottle of coke.
Joey: My friend, you have eight seconds.
Eight seconds is a lifetime in the rodeo....
Aviv: Founder of Wikipedia.
Joey: You are THE MAN!
Bullcrap! Everyone knows BobJuch is the founder of Wikipedia!
Aviv: All right. Good luck!
Joey: He was pretty mean to me.
Meredith: Yeah!
Like you would have any room to talk Little Miss Oh I'm Sorry... You're Right! Aviv should've stuck to his guns and demanded the Coke and Kitty Sandwich...
Joey: But I'm still going to trust him, because he's a good guy. A good guy at heart. A: Founder of Wikipedia, final answer.
Meredith: Noooooo.
Like I said....
Audience: Awwwww!
Meredith: He wasn't mean to you, he's been good to you!
I'll be the mean one here, thank you....
Joey's mom, Shuli, has been going wild for him in the audience.
Shuli: Oh, yeah! We are so proud of Joey and all our other kids, too: Michael, Hanna, Moshe, Erika, Jen and baby Kayla, we are so proud of all of them. And everything they do just makes us smile and cheer.
Transaltion: Joey is really embarrassing the family right now, so I better mention the other kids in a lame attempt to save our reputation.... but I fear it's probably too late.....
Meredith: But--but Joey's your favorite, huh?
Shuli: We don't play favorites.
Joey: You better be now!
Not even my Spokesman is stupid enough to have you as one of his favorites. The fact that your mother doesn't even consider you a favorite is very telling. Maybe you should have brought Fanny along with you to sit in the companion seat...
$50,000 * Tangled Web
As a security measure at some Web sites, users are asked to read and retype groups of distorted letters and numbers called what?
A: SERCH B: BLANKIT
C: SKRAPE D: CAPTCHA
Joey: I can never type'em! And I don't know the answer, either, but I have had such a great time--
You in some big hurry to leave? It's not like you have a plane or a train to catch....
Meredith: Remember, it's a free guess.
Joey: It's a--oh! Right! I should guess then! Wow, umm--
Pardon me while I explode you damn nose......
Meredith: Think about it for a minute, you have some time there.
Joey reviews the choices: Weird names. Let's go B: BLANKIT, final answer.
Joey leaves with $25,000.
This was barely worth my infintely valuable time. The 15 minutes I spent watching this performance could've been better spent building the better mousetrap or finding a cure for chronic crabs. You have a lot yet to learn about the world, son, but I do hope you learned a few valuable lessons today....
1. Never EVER listen to the advice of so called finacial experts.
2. Nobody likes your shoes.
3. You need to start taking better care of you PAF's.
4. You're a friggin' dumbass...
Well, that's all there is to say. I look forward to seeing clips of this episode replayed on TruTV in about 10 years when they profile infamous serial killers. But until then, I'm going to do everything I can to extinguish the fact that I ever witnessed this terrible travesty... up to and including washing out my eyeballs in hydrochloric acid....
Nihil Obstat®
You know, I worked up all this energy to tear clem apart, and it's the transcriptionist who is doing their best to get on my very last neuron. Don't make me go all Spanish Inquisition on your transcript writing ass....
$300 (Logo-a-go-go): Which of these companies originally had a logo that depicted Isaac Newton sitting beneath a fruit tree?
A. Toyota B. Apple
C. Pepsi D. Kleenex
$500 (Foreign Titles): Which of these movies was released in Montreal with the title "Les Girls de Las Vegas?" (sic)
A. Mean Girls B. Kiss the Girls
C. Uptown Girls D. Showgirls
$1,000 (Field of Dreams): Which of these pro baseball stadiums is named after the brother of a U.S. president?
A. RFK Stadium B. Jacobs Field
C. PNC Park D. Coors Field
It's too bad RFK hasn't been a professional baseball stadium in 2 years.... kinda like WWTBAM hasn't been a professional game show since the early part of this decade...
Joey has earned the ATE lifeline, which means he can now call upon Jim Cramer, the host of "Mad Money" on CNBC.
Oh wonderful. WWTBAM offering the tremendous help of a financial expert.... the same geniuses who put us in the worst recession this country's seen since video games quit costing a quarter to play....
Jim calls himself Meredith's "go-to guy." Then he and Meredith plug Jim's book, "Stay Mad for Life," which teaches people how to save their money.
Oh sure, this show has now stooped to having pseudocelebrities plug their stupid books nobody with half a fried brain would ever think of buying. You know what MBFFB®'s advice would be for saving your money? Don't watch this damn travesty of a show and you'll save thousands of dollars a year on antacid, aspirin and suppositories....
$2,000 (No Sweat): Which of these '90s song titles references a then-popular brand of deodorant?
A. Mama Said Knock You Out B. Smells Like Teen Spirit
C. Semi-Charmed Life D. Livin' La Vida Loca
Joey says he has an idea, but wants to ATA (18).
I've always wanted to say Clem stinks, and now if my perfect opportunity to do just that....
A. Mama Said Knock You Out - 7%
B. Smells Like Teen Spirit - 75%
C. Semi-Charmed Life - 6%
D. Livin' La Vida Loca - 12%
Joey admits that it wasn't what he was thinking, so he's glad he decided to ATA.
Even if I were stupid enough not to know any of the questions they would ever ask me, I would certainly never admit to my own idiocy on national TV. Don't forget to raise your hand if you're Sure... sure you're an damn moron that is....
Joey is known among his friends and family for two things: his smile and his sneakers. They're blue and orange (as they show, since he's wearing them).
I am well known among my friends... um, well, my family for many things. My shoes aren't one of them, and anyone who is known for their shoes is probably only connected to them through some kind of awful means.
His parents aren't as thrilled with them; his dad calls them his "Bozo the Clown shoes." He's worn them to his brother's wedding, his sister's graduation, and now on Millionaire.
That's only because the damn things have rotted to his feet....
Joey claims that they're very comfortable and "they bring me good luck sometimes."
What is that supposed to mean? My Einstein underwear bring me good luck sometimes, except the one time I was hit by a bus while wearing them. I had a heck of a time convincing my mom the skidmarks were from the tires....
Meredith asks Joey's mom, Shuli, who is in the audience, how she felt about them wearing them on the show, and Shuli said, "Doesn't every mother want to see their son on national television in big orange boats?" [Ed. Note: Clem, you're mom looked great and was very funny. You need to smile more, though, kid.
]Most mothers would want to see their son on national TV collecting a Nobel Prize, or a Congressional Medal, or at the very least in the background of a live news event. Appearing on a game show in "orange boats" would probably lie just above appearing in a Jackass segment and just below TV news mug shot....
$4,000 (Sliders): When a trombone player extends the instrument's slide, what happens to the note being played?
A. It gets higher B. It gets lower
C. It increases in volume D. It decreases in volume
Joey chooses to ATE (21). Jim admits he's not a musician ("none whatsoever").
Of course not, you were too busy saving your money to buy a musical instrument, or even purchase a damn 8 track.
He stares at the question for a while, then says "My 100% lack of certainty says that when you slide that instrument, it goes...it gets higher." Joey points out that "100% lack of certainty is 0% certainty" to which Jim says that "had I flipped a coin, my conviction rate would have gone up dramatically...
Is this really the kind of expert help the dumbasses who run this show really tried to bring to the table this year? I could've called my fatass neighbor and gotten a more convincing response than that about quantum mechanics. It's no wonder this country's on its way to financial ruin.....
I just think that the guy is obviously stretching, and when you think about it, when he stretches, it would be unusual to believe that a stretch would necessarily make something lower.
The more your ass stretches your mind out, Jim, the lower my confidence level in anything you have to say goes.... put that in your french horn and blow it....
The other one that looks tempting is decrease in volume, but you know what? I just think that it must be a way to be able to make it so that he stretches, and that the higher sound kind of figures more...logical to me."
Logical to you is goddamn horsecrap to the rest of the world....
Joey's response is that he's "glad you didn't yell at me!"
That's my job, Joey Joe, that's my job....
Joey decides to DD (16). His first guess, A[, is incorrect. His second guess, though, is right.
3 lifelines down, one to go... and 8 more questions. It's Maalox time....
$8,000 (Dance Fever): Which of these celebrities was not a competitor on the Fall 2008 season of TV's "Dancing With the Stars"?
A. A former boy-band star B. A celebrity chef
C. A Fortune 500 CEO D. A beach volleyball player
Joey says he remembers Misty May (a beach volleyball player) and a celebrity chef, and he thinks Lance Bass (a former boy-band member) so he goes with the fourth choice.
At least there were no insane financial experts, overly perky airheaded game show hosts, or clown in orange boats on the show....
$16,000 (Pricey Paint Jobs): "Le Bassin aux Nympheas," which sold for a record $80 million in 2008, is one of Monet's many paintings of what flowers?
A. Orchids B. Sunflowers
C. Chrysanthemums D. Water lilies
Joey agonizes for a few seconds, because he "knows what Monet is famous for painting, but [isn't sure] if every painting was it," but he wants to save his PAF, so he correctly goes with his gut.
Monet should've painted squirrels. How come none of the famous artistes of the world painted squirrels?
Joey is a 20-year-old college student who's known for his smile and orange sneakers and now for taking a big chance at Millionaire.
Wow, that was a really freaking big chance there, Clem. I took a bigger risk this morning getting out of bed and hoping I didn't fall and break my big, fat, fabulous neck....
Joey is a junior at Queens College and would like to go to law school. He told his parents, "You guys pay for college and I'll pay for law school." He'd like to do that.
Sounds like a typical lawyer already.... I should charge $700 an hour to write up these little critiques....
$25,000 * Who Am I?
Who is Jimmy Wales?
A: Founder of Wikipedia B: Christian televangelist
C: Godfather of reggae D: Founder of Starbucks
With 22 seconds left, Joey decides to Phone A Friend.
Joey's PAF team (who receive no introduction from Meredith) are Judy, Norman, OK; Aviv, Bronx, NY; and Michael, New York, NY. Joey calls Aviv, who is wearing comically large glasses in his photograph.
You should have called the brilliant lady from Norman.... I'd never trust a WE....
Meredith: You know, I'm looking at the picture that you gave Joey, to put on national television, and I'm just wondering about you.
Aviv: I'm crazy.
Who'd have ever guessed Clem would hang out with someone who's crazy.....
Joey reads the question and answers.
Aviv: I bet you'd like to know the answer to this.
Joey: You should.
Aviv: I'll sell it to you for a sandwich.
Joey: I'm sorry?
Aviv: I'll sell it to you for a sandwich.
Aviv may very well be the greatest PAF in this show's history.... even better than good ol' Pigeon from 3 years ago who was so scared shitless he couldn't even offer up a guess.....
Joey: Give me the answer!
Aviv: And a bottle of coke.
Joey: My friend, you have eight seconds.
Eight seconds is a lifetime in the rodeo....
Aviv: Founder of Wikipedia.
Joey: You are THE MAN!
Bullcrap! Everyone knows BobJuch is the founder of Wikipedia!
Aviv: All right. Good luck!
Joey: He was pretty mean to me.
Meredith: Yeah!
Like you would have any room to talk Little Miss Oh I'm Sorry... You're Right! Aviv should've stuck to his guns and demanded the Coke and Kitty Sandwich...
Joey: But I'm still going to trust him, because he's a good guy. A good guy at heart. A: Founder of Wikipedia, final answer.
Meredith: Noooooo.
Like I said....
Audience: Awwwww!
Meredith: He wasn't mean to you, he's been good to you!
I'll be the mean one here, thank you....
Joey's mom, Shuli, has been going wild for him in the audience.
Shuli: Oh, yeah! We are so proud of Joey and all our other kids, too: Michael, Hanna, Moshe, Erika, Jen and baby Kayla, we are so proud of all of them. And everything they do just makes us smile and cheer.
Transaltion: Joey is really embarrassing the family right now, so I better mention the other kids in a lame attempt to save our reputation.... but I fear it's probably too late.....
Meredith: But--but Joey's your favorite, huh?
Shuli: We don't play favorites.
Joey: You better be now!
Not even my Spokesman is stupid enough to have you as one of his favorites. The fact that your mother doesn't even consider you a favorite is very telling. Maybe you should have brought Fanny along with you to sit in the companion seat...
$50,000 * Tangled Web
As a security measure at some Web sites, users are asked to read and retype groups of distorted letters and numbers called what?
A: SERCH B: BLANKIT
C: SKRAPE D: CAPTCHA
Joey: I can never type'em! And I don't know the answer, either, but I have had such a great time--
You in some big hurry to leave? It's not like you have a plane or a train to catch....
Meredith: Remember, it's a free guess.
Joey: It's a--oh! Right! I should guess then! Wow, umm--
Pardon me while I explode you damn nose......
Meredith: Think about it for a minute, you have some time there.
Joey reviews the choices: Weird names. Let's go B: BLANKIT, final answer.
Joey leaves with $25,000.
This was barely worth my infintely valuable time. The 15 minutes I spent watching this performance could've been better spent building the better mousetrap or finding a cure for chronic crabs. You have a lot yet to learn about the world, son, but I do hope you learned a few valuable lessons today....
1. Never EVER listen to the advice of so called finacial experts.
2. Nobody likes your shoes.
3. You need to start taking better care of you PAF's.
4. You're a friggin' dumbass...
Well, that's all there is to say. I look forward to seeing clips of this episode replayed on TruTV in about 10 years when they profile infamous serial killers. But until then, I'm going to do everything I can to extinguish the fact that I ever witnessed this terrible travesty... up to and including washing out my eyeballs in hydrochloric acid....
Nihil Obstat®
It's sarcasm, get over it already!
-
NellyLunatic1980
- Posts: 7935
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:54 am
- Contact:
Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
Best MBFFB report EVER!
-
Estonut
- Evil Genius
- Posts: 10495
- Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2007 1:16 am
- Location: Garden Grove, CA
Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
You let him off easy, Braniac! Are you getting too old for this???
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx
-
ulysses5019
- Purveyor of Avatars
- Posts: 19442
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:52 am
- Location: Los Angeles, CA
Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
I think it was hard to get them to sit still for more than 30 seconds.Joey agonizes for a few seconds, because he "knows what Monet is famous for painting, but [isn't sure] if every painting was it," but he wants to save his PAF, so he correctly goes with his gut.
Monet should've painted squirrels. How come none of the famous artistes of the world painted squirrels?
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.
-
ulysses5019
- Purveyor of Avatars
- Posts: 19442
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:52 am
- Location: Los Angeles, CA
Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
His parents aren't as thrilled with them; his dad calls them his "Bozo the Clown shoes." He's worn them to his brother's wedding, his sister's graduation, and now on Millionaire.
That's only because the damn things have rotted to his feet....
Maybe he has a bad case of athletes' feet.
I believe in the usefulness of useless information.
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MarleysGh0st
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Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
Once again, I wish I hadn't Found It.ulysses5019 wrote:His parents aren't as thrilled with them; his dad calls them his "Bozo the Clown shoes." He's worn them to his brother's wedding, his sister's graduation, and now on Millionaire.
That's only because the damn things have rotted to his feet....
Maybe he has a bad case of athletes' feet.
Flowers, uly. How about an avatar with nice, pretty flowers?
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clem21
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Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
MyBigFatFabulousBrain wrote:Joey Gutmann
New York, NY
College Student and BB (clem21)
Even if I were stupid enough not to know any of the questions they would ever ask me, I would certainly never admit to my own idiocy on national TV. Don't forget to raise your hand if you're Sure... sure you're an damn moron that is....
I thought about just like Bsing and saying that that's what I was thinking all along but honesty won out...
Joey claims that they're very comfortable and "they bring me good luck sometimes."
What is that supposed to mean? My Einstein underwear bring me good luck sometimes, except the one time I was hit by a bus while wearing them. I had a heck of a time convincing my mom the skidmarks were from the tires....
It means they told me to throw in some crap about how they were good luck! You think I came up with that cheesy garbage??
$25,000 * Who Am I?
Who is Jimmy Wales?
A: Founder of Wikipedia B: Christian televangelist
C: Godfather of reggae D: Founder of Starbucks
With 22 seconds left, Joey decides to Phone A Friend.
Joey's PAF team (who receive no introduction from Meredith) are Judy, Norman, OK; Aviv, Bronx, NY; and Michael, New York, NY. Joey calls Aviv, who is wearing comically large glasses in his photograph.
You should have called the brilliant lady from Norman.... I'd never trust a WE....
Meredith: You know, I'm looking at the picture that you gave Joey, to put on national television, and I'm just wondering about you.
Aviv: I'm crazy.
Who'd have ever guessed Clem would hang out with someone who's crazy.....
Joey reads the question and answers.
Aviv: I bet you'd like to know the answer to this.
Joey: You should.
Aviv: I'll sell it to you for a sandwich.
Joey: I'm sorry?
Aviv: I'll sell it to you for a sandwich.
Aviv may very well be the greatest PAF in this show's history.... even better than good ol' Pigeon from 3 years ago who was so scared shitless he couldn't even offer up a guess.....
So true. I feel like I have to somehow isolate this PAF and put it up on YouTube entitled ROFLMAO!! Phone-a-friend pwns dumass kid!!!
Joey: Give me the answer!
Aviv: And a bottle of coke.
Joey: My friend, you have eight seconds.
Eight seconds is a lifetime in the rodeo....
Aviv: Founder of Wikipedia.
Joey: You are THE MAN!
Bullcrap! Everyone knows BobJuch is the founder of Wikipedia!
Aviv: All right. Good luck!
Joey: He was pretty mean to me.
Meredith: Yeah!
Like you would have any room to talk Little Miss Oh I'm Sorry... You're Right! Aviv should've stuck to his guns and demanded the Coke and Kitty Sandwich...
Joey: But I'm still going to trust him, because he's a good guy. A good guy at heart. A: Founder of Wikipedia, final answer.
Meredith: Noooooo.
Like I said....
Audience: Awwwww!
Meredith: He wasn't mean to you, he's been good to you!
I'll be the mean one here, thank you....
Joey's mom, Shuli, has been going wild for him in the audience.
Shuli: Oh, yeah! We are so proud of Joey and all our other kids, too: Michael, Hanna, Moshe, Erika, Jen and baby Kayla, we are so proud of all of them. And everything they do just makes us smile and cheer.
Transaltion: Joey is really embarrassing the family right now, so I better mention the other kids in a lame attempt to save our reputation.... but I fear it's probably too late.....
This would be a whole lot funnier if it weren't completely true....sigh.
Meredith: But--but Joey's your favorite, huh?
Shuli: We don't play favorites.
Joey: You better be now!
Not even my Spokesman is stupid enough to have you as one of his favorites. The fact that your mother doesn't even consider you a favorite is very telling. Maybe you should have brought Fanny along with you to sit in the companion seat...
I would, but she won't even tell me her name so I'm assuming she's have to murder me if I ever actually managed to lay eyes on her...
$50,000 * Tangled Web
As a security measure at some Web sites, users are asked to read and retype groups of distorted letters and numbers called what?
A: SERCH B: BLANKIT
C: SKRAPE D: CAPTCHA
Joey: I can never type'em! And I don't know the answer, either, but I have had such a great time--
You in some big hurry to leave? It's not like you have a plane or a train to catch....
Meredith: Remember, it's a free guess.
Joey: It's a--oh! Right! I should guess then! Wow, umm--
Pardon me while I explode you damn nose......
Nice spelling jenius.
Meredith: Think about it for a minute, you have some time there.
Joey reviews the choices: Weird names. Let's go B: BLANKIT, final answer.
Joey leaves with $25,000.
This was barely worth my infintely valuable time. The 15 minutes I spent watching this performance could've been better spent building the better mousetrap or finding a cure for chronic crabs. You have a lot yet to learn about the world, son, but I do hope you learned a few valuable lessons today....
1. Never EVER listen to the advice of so called finacial experts.
Even nicer spelling jenius.
2. Nobody likes your shoes.
Jealous.
3. You need to start taking better care of you PAF's.
4. You're a friggin' dumbass...
Can't argue that one.
Well, that's all there is to say. I look forward to seeing clips of this episode replayed on TruTV in about 10 years when they profile infamous serial killers. But until then, I'm going to do everything I can to extinguish the fact that I ever witnessed this terrible travesty... up to and including washing out my eyeballs in hydrochloric acid....
Honestly, I think that I would try and pull the "Make it look like they committed suicide by overdose" routine. It's easier than disposing the bodies and I wouldn't have to get acid on my shoes. Ah well, we'll see. I don't plan on going on a rampage 'till at least after law school....
Nihil Obstat®
"Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live..."
-Charles Bukowski
2011 [Bleep]house Rats Award Winner
2011 I've Been Everywhere New England Region Co-Champion
-Charles Bukowski
2011 [Bleep]house Rats Award Winner
2011 I've Been Everywhere New England Region Co-Champion
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secondchance
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Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
OMG- this stuff is simply priceless.
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ten96lt
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Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
I was in the audience for this taping and you don't know how bad I wanted to scream "IT'S CALLED A CAPTCHA" to you for the $50,000 question, but I didnt think that'd go well with the producers. lol Congrats on the $25K
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clem21
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Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
And thank you for getting my name on the front page of the Bored again.ten96lt wrote:I was in the audience for this taping and you don't know how bad I wanted to scream "IT'S CALLED A CAPTCHA" to you for the $50,000 question, but I didnt think that'd go well with the producers. lol Congrats on the $25K
It feeds my egotistical nature...
"Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live..."
-Charles Bukowski
2011 [Bleep]house Rats Award Winner
2011 I've Been Everywhere New England Region Co-Champion
-Charles Bukowski
2011 [Bleep]house Rats Award Winner
2011 I've Been Everywhere New England Region Co-Champion
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peacock2121
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Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
What a great response.clem21 wrote:And thank you for getting my name on the front page of the Bored again.ten96lt wrote:I was in the audience for this taping and you don't know how bad I wanted to scream "IT'S CALLED A CAPTCHA" to you for the $50,000 question, but I didnt think that'd go well with the producers. lol Congrats on the $25K
It feeds my egotistical nature...
I mighta told him to bite me or something.
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ten96lt
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Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
Now that's not nice, what'd I ever do to you? lolpeacock2121 wrote:What a great response.clem21 wrote:And thank you for getting my name on the front page of the Bored again.ten96lt wrote:I was in the audience for this taping and you don't know how bad I wanted to scream "IT'S CALLED A CAPTCHA" to you for the $50,000 question, but I didnt think that'd go well with the producers. lol Congrats on the $25K
It feeds my egotistical nature...
I mighta told him to bite me or something.
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MarleysGh0st
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Re: Transcript 05/21/09 - Joey Gutmann (clem21) (carryover)
Don't worry.ten96lt wrote:Now that's not nice, what'd I ever do to you? lolpeacock2121 wrote:What a great response.clem21 wrote: And thank you for getting my name on the front page of the Bored again.
It feeds my egotistical nature...
I mighta told him to bite me or something.
She only says that to people she likes!
