Pissed you gave advice? Never. If I post something, I am inviting responses.peacock2121 wrote:What you described at work is often found in male/female relationships. Generally, females just want their men to listen and not try ot fix - they just want to be heard and don't want their complaint taken care of or given ideas on how it could be fixed.Ritterskoop wrote:
I'm told I have been contributing too many opinions for someone who is new to the team. They like my energy and hard work but not so much the opinions. Since I am not very subtle about figuring out when to speak up and when not, I will just be quiet. The people who want my ideas can ask for them. Maybe someday down the road I will be better at knowing when I'm welcome to speak up. Until then, they will have to tell me when they are making rhetorical complaints and when they really do want something fixed.
Whew. That all does have to do with my health, I promise.
I know of many couples who have handled that issue without making the man just be quiet. He asks "Is this something you just want to get off your chest or is this something you want to see if we can fix together?"
You could try some version of that - you just have to make sure you don't have any judgement about that they shouldn't be talking about it if they don't want it fixed. If you ask the question from that place - you will just piss them off even more.
Sorry you are having a hard time.
I also notice you didn't ask for help and yet....... I offered.
Are you pissed off?
Mom did tell me not to ask people if their complaints are rhetorical or if they want me to help. Well, she said don't do that first part. I bet I can't get into trouble if I say, "Do you need help with that?"
I think there are a couple of them that believe I should behave like a sports team rookie, and only speak when I'm spoken to, and like that.
I can do that. That's my new approach. I just wish someone had mentioned it four months ago.
I am also only going to sit at my own desk, and not sit closer to the solo designer some nights like I was. I thought I was more helpful so he didn't have to yell. But now I will stay in my corner and put on the headphones. Shoot, maybe I won't get a headache tonight!