HEAR YE! HEAR YE! Let the Parade COMMENCE!

Message

Wierd Al Yankovic · #101 Post by **Wierd Al Yankovic** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:04 pm

Flatulence wrote:
Al Gore wrote:I built a bio-friendly float to showcase in today's parade. It runs off nothing but pure, all natural flatulence. Yes, we will all have a better tomorrow when we turn to nature.... oh my, I think the marching band behind me has all passed out. Must be from the fumes of the diesel engine I had to add to the float after I found out that fart power couldn't pull my lard ass....
How much flatulence does it take to propel Al Gore forward.

The world will never know.

Standin' on the corner, rumbling in pain
I swore I'd never eat those beans again
You plugged up your nose, between those watery eyes
Darlin' I did everything to try to hold it in
But it's time to admit my sin... oh...

You'll have pardon my fart
You'll have to wipe away tears
You'll have to turn... and... run away from here

All of my life I've been cuttin' up the cheese
For me it's so relieving, a nasty, foul breeze
It feels so good, but never disappears
Darlin' you had no warning, you never had a clue
'Bout my silent, deadly stew.... oooh...

You'll have pardon my fart
You'll have to wipe away tears
You'll have to turn... and... run away from here

You'll have to pardon my fart
You'll have to wipe away tears
You'll have to pardon my fart
I'll have to swallow Gas X
Pardon my fart... It's only the start
You may wanna dart
You'll have to pardon my fart...

Anal Fissure · #102 Post by **Anal Fissure** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:04 pm

Simon Coward wrote:This was a poorly organized, pitiful exhibition. I can draw millions of people to one of my auditions, and half of them couldn't carry a tune if it had two handles. It looks like all the competent Merry Men stayed home and all the wannabes came out to play. Nobody's going to watch a spectacle of only....

Hey, wait. Actually that's the same brilliant idea I came up with!

Don't be such an asshole.

_TPTB_ · #103 Post by **_TPTB_** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:06 pm

Why does that close up look so familiar?

Beebs52 · #104 Post by **Beebs52** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:21 pm

Don't tell anyone. There was this flattened cheezbrgr, half-eaten, under some fartguy. I didn't mean him any harm.

Mayor McCheese · #105 Post by **Mayor McCheese** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:24 pm

Beebs52 wrote:Don't tell anyone. There was this flattened cheezbrgr, half-eaten, under some fartguy. I didn't mean him any harm.

AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

I knew I should have stayed under the heat lamp!

OhTheHumanity · #106 Post by **OhTheHumanity** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:26 pm

Ohhh, that poor little chizburger! This is just such a sad....

Dammit, I'm getting hungry myself! Let go of that meat you little mongrel! I want some...

Jocelyn · #107 Post by **Jocelyn** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:27 pm

Where's the mascot float?
I was told I would ride a float. Please enlighten me on this "mascot". Why is there a talking burger? I don't eat meat. I can't.

Beebs52 · #108 Post by **Beebs52** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:29 pm

OhTheHumanity wrote:Ohhh, that poor little chizburger! This is just such a sad....

Dammit, I'm getting hungry myself! Let go of that meat you little mongrel! I want some...

You can have the pickle. Just let me squeeze it out.

Anal Fissure · #109 Post by **Anal Fissure** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:33 pm

Beebs52 wrote:
OhTheHumanity wrote:Ohhh, that poor little chizburger! This is just such a sad....

Dammit, I'm getting hungry myself! Let go of that meat you little mongrel! I want some...
You can have the pickle. Just let me squeeze it out.

If you squeeze too much, you might get a hemorrhoid.

Jocelyn · #110 Post by **Jocelyn** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:40 pm

Anal Fissure wrote:
Beebs52 wrote:
OhTheHumanity wrote:Ohhh, that poor little chizburger! This is just such a sad....

Dammit, I'm getting hungry myself! Let go of that meat you little mongrel! I want some...
You can have the pickle. Just let me squeeze it out.
If you squeeze too much, you might get a hemorrhoid.

I just have my hemorrhoids blindstitched.

Anal Fissure · #111 Post by **Anal Fissure** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:41 pm

Jocelyn wrote:
Anal Fissure wrote:
Beebs52 wrote: You can have the pickle. Just let me squeeze it out.
If you squeeze too much, you might get a hemorrhoid.
I just have my hemorrhoids blindstitched.

I look like your lips.

Jocelyn · #112 Post by **Jocelyn** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:47 pm

Anal Fissure wrote:
Jocelyn wrote:
Anal Fissure wrote: If you squeeze too much, you might get a hemorrhoid.
I just have my hemorrhoids blindstitched.
I look like your lips.

Why you scandalous little asshole! You can just kiss MY ass!
It's right there next to my left nostril.

Rod Serling · #113 Post by **Rod Serling** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:02 pm

Jocelyn, beauty is in the eye of the behold...

UGH! ACK! Nevermind what I said! Put that bag back over your head, please!

Jocelyn · #114 Post by **Jocelyn** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:06 pm

Rod Serling wrote:Jocelyn, beauty is in the eye of the behold...

UGH! ACK! Nevermind what I said! Put that bag back over your head, please!

We do not let the cat into the bag, sir.

LarryCraig · #115 Post by **LarryCraig** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:07 pm

Beebs52 wrote:You can have the pickle. Just let me squeeze it out.

Ooooo. Can I have the pickle? I love pickles.

Don't even go there.

Larry Bud Selig · #116 Post by **Larry Bud Selig** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:07 pm

Have you been taking steroids, ma'am? Your face looks like Barry Bonds' back...

Beebs52 · #117 Post by **Beebs52** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:09 pm

LarryCraig wrote:
Beebs52 wrote:You can have the pickle. Just let me squeeze it out.
Ooooo. Can I have the pickle? I love pickles.

Don't even go there.

I've promised my pickle to another. One with a narrower stance.

Jocelyn · #118 Post by **Jocelyn** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:11 pm

Larry Bud Selig wrote:Have you been taking steroids, ma'am? Your face looks like Barry Bonds' back...

I have nothing but love and admiration for Mr. Bonds. He's a totally natural man, not unlike myself.

10 Pound Balls · #119 Post by **10 Pound Balls** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:14 pm

Yo Larry! Want some of these?

You know you want to grab them....

Jocelyn · #120 Post by **Jocelyn** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:16 pm

10 Pound Balls wrote:Yo Larry! Want some of these?

You know you want to grab them....

Mr. Balls, perhaps you'd consider forfeiting a couple of those beauties that I might use them in my next surgery. What say?

TedWilliamscicle · #121 Post by **TedWilliamscicle** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:20 pm

Rod Serling wrote:Jocelyn, beauty is in the eye of the behold...

UGH! ACK! Nevermind what I said! Put that bag back over your head, please!

At least you have that option.

Me, not so much.

10 Pound Balls · #122 Post by **10 Pound Balls** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:21 pm

Jocelyn wrote:
10 Pound Balls wrote:Yo Larry! Want some of these?

You know you want to grab them....
Mr. Balls, perhaps you'd consider forfeiting a couple of those beauties that I might use them in my next surgery. What say?

I don't think we'd fit in your scrotum.

Besides, you seem to have lost your pickle already...

MelAllen · #123 Post by **MelAllen** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:25 pm

You know, folks? This is a great ballsgame we're witnessing here today. Just look at those lovely ladies in the stands.

Who wants to join me in enjoying a Ballantine Blast?

Craig Paquette · #124 Post by **Craig Paquette** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:26 pm

Hey Ted! Can I borrow your noggin next Spring? I could use a little help to revive my career...

And a minor league invite....

CP21

LarryCraig · #125 Post by **LarryCraig** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 2:28 pm

10 Pound Balls wrote:Yo Larry! Want some of these?

You know you want to grab them....

How many times do I have to tell you people?! I am not gay! I love my wife!