[Uly turns transcripts over to Kiki]
Uly: It's okay.
Kiki: I don't know what to write.
Uly: Just tell them who you are.
Kiki: My name is Kiki McIntyre. I don't know why this is happening, but I think it has something to do with Lyrically Speaking. We're going to wait in this thread until this passes.
Scene: Uly Hawkins and friends are spending another Friday in the chat room discussing important and timely topics. . .
. . .and, like most chat room people, drinking heavily. . .
. . . with Esto is in charge of the transcripts
Scene: They hear loud, strange noises coming from other forums
Catfish: Anyone know what that was?
Esto: Nothing to worry about. It’s just another political thread going viral. Kiki's probably raising hell, again. My suggestion is have another beer.
Catfish: Are you sure it's just a political thread?
Esto: Trust me. Herman Cain entered the forum.
Scene: The Bored is under attack!
Scene: Uly and TBone discuss the situation
Uly: Still writing the transcripts?
TBone: Yeah, people are gonna want to know... how it all went down.
Uly: Well, you can just tell them how it all went down, TBone.
TBone: No, that wouldn't work. People need to read this, you know? It's gonna be important. People are going to read this thread.
Scene: While TBone keeps the record, the friends set out to find Kiki, who is trapped in a long political thread. . .
. . .but they find mayhem on The Bored
Scene: Uly seeks out a moderator and asks for assistance
Uly: Listen, we need your help. Our friend, she's may be hurt, she's trapped in a political thread
Confessor: That is not where you want to be right now.
Catfish: Do you guys know what it is, out there? Do you know what that thing is?
Confessor: There ain't nobody telling me. Rumor has it the damn thing is out to destroy Lyrically Speaking.
Catfish: That doesn't make any sense?
Confessor: It's a promo, what do you expect?
Catfish: Good point.
Confessor: Whatever it is, it's winning.
Scene: They finally reach the main forum, only to find Kiki's political thread all messed up
TBone: Please tell me she posted early in the thread.
Uly: Nope, right up to the end.
TBone: Shit.
Catfish: How are we going to get in there?
Uly: I don't know; we'll just go log in and see how far up we can get.
Catfish: I don't know if I can do that.
TBone: Well, maybe we can try going up to the Main Forum and see if there's a place to cross over, and then we can find some way down to her post.
[Uly considers, then begins to log in. The others follow]
TBone: Wait! No, never mind! No, that's a bad idea! Hey! That's a bad idea, I take that back!
Scene: After rescuing Kiki, Uly and the others consider their options.
TBone: Okay, just to be clear here, our options are: die here, die in the tunnels, or die on The Bored. That pretty much it?
Uly: Yeah... that's pretty much it.
Scene: The monster continues to pummel The Bored. The chat room is completely destroyed as Tuba Dave and moderators attempt to stop the intrusion
Scene: After the others are killed, Uly and Kiki, attempt to keep the transcripts as they escape through The Bored. . .
. . .and take refuge in an old Take Me Out to the Ballgame thread
Uly: We got like three seconds left. What do you want to write? What do you want to write? Last thing for the transcripts.
Kiki: Um... Lyrically Speaking Winter Extravaganza returns January second. Nothing can stop LB, not even a mon-
[transcript ends]
LSWE
1.2.12