Mom update

Message

T_Bone0806 · #1 Post by **T_Bone0806** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 11:35 pm

Well, Mom's condition IS terminal. She will not recover from this. Not a question now of if, but when. We are meeting with Hospice folk to make sure her last weeks are as comfortable as possible.

She is in fairly good shape in the morning as long as she gets a good night's sleep. But she has respiratory distress at several points during the day that weaken her, and the medication needed to alleviate the discomfort gets her pretty well out of it by early evening, although she was doing fairly well when we left her at 7:30 tonight. Awake and alert and joking (when my brother left the room to grab a soda, he told us we could talk about him while he was gone. She said "Don't worry, we will".

My brother has been pretty amazing through this. He's taken time off from work to be with her, spending most of his time at the hospital and staying the nights there too. Every now and then my mom has trouble breathing because of the crap in her lungs and needs to get a strong cough out (her muscles are too weak to do the job themselves). My brother is right at her side to push on her stomach to force the big cough and it gets her back on track.

Some guy, my brother.

The other night my mom was pretty doped up and started "folding laundry" in her bed. The next day when they told her about it she looked at my brother and sister and said to them, "and why the hell didn't you two lazy bums help me fold the clothes?" How she keeps her humor is beyond me 'cuz this is a brutal ordeal for her.

I appreciate the games and discussion topics here as they provide much needed distraction so I don't spend too much time thinking. I've also been working on a project that's just about finished. I got a bunch of karaoke tracks of some of my mom's favorite songs and little by little have been recording them to present to her. This old rocker has been "crooning" Nat King Cole, Dean Martin, Andy Williams and the like. Thankfully it was almost finished when we found out that she was going to leave us soon. Of course, hearing me mangle her favorites just may finish her off, but I'm trusting that she'll like it just because it's her little boy. If she doesn't, she'll probably just whack me upside the head

Just keeping busy. Can't imagine what we're gonna do without her.

Thanks for letting me unload.

silvercamaro · #2 Post by **silvercamaro** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 12:10 am

T-bone, I know this is so hard for you, and I am sorry. Know that you are loved by so many of us, and by extension, we love your family, too. I will remind you that you have one thing for which to be grateful, one that is not extended to every loving child. You have the opportunity to tell your mom again that you love her, and again and again, if possible. You have the opportunity to say good-bye. However difficult it may be, that is indeed a precious and wonderful gift.

My prayers go to you, your mom, and your entire family. May God hold you all close together in the warmth of His loving arms to help you get through this difficult time.

T_Bone0806 · #3 Post by **T_Bone0806** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 12:22 am

silvercamaro wrote:T-bone, I know this is so hard for you, and I am sorry. Know that you are loved by so many of us, and by extension, we love your family, too. I will remind you that you have one thing for which to be grateful, one that is not extended to every loving child. You have the opportunity to tell your mom again that you love her, and again and again, if possible. You have the opportunity to say good-bye. However difficult it may be, that is indeed a precious and wonderful gift.

My prayers go to you, your mom, and your entire family. May God hold you all close together in the warmth of His loving arms to help you get through this difficult time.

Thanks, SC. Add one more big ol' T-Bone hug to the many I already have saved for if..make that when..we eventually meet. You're aces, my friend.

With that, I think I will retire for the night. Good night to anyone out there lurking about.

kayrharris · #4 Post by **kayrharris** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 12:45 am

Your mom is gonna be thrilled with your recordings. What a wonderful gift for her and it will be the most beautiful music ever to her ears.

I'm hurting for you and yours. It's a very difficult thing to see one you love go through this. We're with you all the way. I just wish I could do more for you.

Take care.

PlacentiaSoccerMom · #5 Post by **PlacentiaSoccerMom** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 12:47 am

I am very sorry that you are going through this.

a1mamacat · #6 Post by **a1mamacat** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 2:21 am

Truly a difficult time for you. Know that your friends here are holding you close in spirit and send you all our prayers and love.

peacock2121 · #7 Post by **peacock2121** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 6:01 am

Your mom raised great kids.

I know you are kind and giving and loving and I now know your mom and brother are as well.

All of you make a difference in my life and will continue to.

Hugs and kisses.

geoffil · #8 Post by **geoffil** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 5:52 pm

I am sorry to hear about your mom. How nice that you and your brother can be with her and that means so much. Stay strong.

ne1410s · #9 Post by **ne1410s** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 6:52 pm

T-bone, I'm so sorry to hear this news. Good vibes headed your way. Be as strong as you have to be.

Buffacuse · #10 Post by **Buffacuse** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 7:02 pm

T, we'll light a candle for you and your mom tomorrow--God bless.

mellytu74 · #11 Post by **mellytu74** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 7:07 pm

T-Bone --

You & mom are in our prayers.

We're lighting candles tomorrow morning and I am telling Father Mac & Sister Cecile to add you to their prayer list.

They are good people. As are you.

BUT, the burning question, my friend, is when will those tapes be on the market? I will pay to hear you croon Nat King Cole. (I hope that made you smile, as it was the intent.).

Hugs to you & your Mom (and your brother). Bless you all & keep you strong.

Ritterskoop · #12 Post by **Ritterskoop** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 10:14 pm

Thinking of you buddy. I am hearing "The Luckiest" for you.

T_Bone0806 · #13 Post by **T_Bone0806** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 9:56 am

Thank you ALL for your thoughts and candles and, well, for just being really cool peoples.

T_Bone0806 · #14 Post by **T_Bone0806** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 10:09 am

mellytu74 wrote:T-Bone --

BUT, the burning question, my friend, is when will those tapes be on the market? I will pay to hear you croon Nat King Cole. (I hope that made you smile, as it was the intent.).

Well, I s'pose if people actually bought William Hung's cd, a couple might buy mine!

In all honesty, I'd have to classify my singing as "adequate". Or "servicable". I wouldn't make the Top 24 on "Idol", let's put it that way.
Singing new wave and Rolling Stones/Tom Petty/Cheap Trick songs doesn't require a gift like Pavoratti's. The late 70's/early 80's were good for guys like me.
Still, at least my "All Right Now" was better than David Cook's.

DevilKitty100 · #15 Post by **DevilKitty100** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 10:18 am

T_Bone0806 wrote:Thank you ALL for your thoughts and candles and, well, for just being really cool peoples.

Oh, T-Bone, I just now saw this thread. We're never ready to say goodbye to our parents but judging from the children she raised, it appears that maybe her work on this earth is not only done, it was done very well. Love and prayers to you through this trying time.

MarleysGh0st · #16 Post by **MarleysGh0st** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 10:48 am

I'm so sorry, T-Bone.

I hope the Hospice gives all the help they can.

themanintheseersuckersuit · #17 Post by **themanintheseersuckersuit** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 11:34 am

I am praying for mercy and peace for you and your mom.

hermillion · #18 Post by **hermillion** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 2:59 pm

Prayers and good wishes for all of you, T-bone. Saying goodbye to a parent is never easy, but you will have to opportunity to say the things you want to say to her while she can appreciate them. You will value the memory of the time you spend with your mom now, knowing that you are able to reassure her that she raised loving, supportive children.

Ritterskoop · #19 Post by **Ritterskoop** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 6:52 pm

T_Bone0806 wrote: In all honesty, I'd have to classify my singing as "adequate". Or "servicable". I wouldn't make the Top 24 on "Idol", let's put it that way.
Singing new wave and Rolling Stones/Tom Petty/Cheap Trick songs doesn't require a gift like Pavoratti's. The late 70's/early 80's were good for guys like me.
Still, at least my "All Right Now" was better than David Cook's.

I think of you as best-suited to late 60s and early 70s. John Sebastian and like that.

You know what was a blank spot in music? From about 1988-94, until grunge and singer-songwriters woke everyone up. Elton John and Billy Joel were in troughs, writing-wise. About the only good thing to come from that period was the Traveling Wilburys, foreshadowed by George Harrison's solo album of a few years earlier.

Now those are some tunes you could try for your next project, bud. Except I forbid you, or anyone else, from covering that horrible "Tweeter and the Monkey Man". Gak.

SportsFan68 · #20 Post by **SportsFan68** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:09 pm

You guys are doing great, T. You'll never regret one second of the time you're spending with her.

Best wishes in the difficult days ahead -- I'm very glad you have help.

T_Bone0806 · #21 Post by **T_Bone0806** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:25 pm

Ritterskoop wrote:I think of you as best-suited to late 60s and early 70s. John Sebastian and like that.

I love singing that stuff. 50's, 60's early 70's. And you're probably right about what's most suitable for me. But the last band I was in covered lotsa Cheap Trick, Cars, Petty, Elvis Costello, Stones, and the like, which was fun music to play. Mebbe I'll look up an old setlist and post it sometime. I must have one laying around somewhere in my souvenirs. Since we weren't the Spandex and permed hair types, the new wave hit at the perfect time for guys like me. It was pretty much the only time that our "look" was cool.

I always wished I coulda been in a retro-60's cover band.

I could think of a few Wilburys tunes that'd be fun to warble. Not to worry, "Tweeter" is not one of them.

JBillyGirl · #22 Post by **JBillyGirl** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:28 pm

Well damn. Here I was, feeling sorry for myself now that the trip of a lifetime was over, and you were going through this. (I just saw this thread now.)

I'm so sorry about your mom. I know what you mean when you say you don't know what you'll do without her, as I feel the same way about my own mother. I'm sure your singing to her is a good thing, no matter how well you do it. I'm glad your brother is really stepping up to the challenges ad that your sister is there too. Prayers and blessings to all of you, and I hope your mom passes on in great peace knowing that she is so well loved.

T_Bone0806 · #23 Post by **T_Bone0806** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:36 pm

Thanks again everyone. Just got back from seeing her. the last two times I saw her she was fairly good all things considered, but tonight, not so good. They gave her something to help her sleep as we were leaving.

We'll see if she has any springback tomorrow.

Snaxx · #24 Post by **Snaxx** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 10:14 pm

Sorry to hear about this. My prayers are with you, your mom and family.

.

tlynn78 · #25 Post by **tlynn78** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 10:40 am

Hugs, T-Bone. Your mom did a great job raising her kids, and deserves her reward. I know it's hard. When we lost my grandma, it was very sudden, but comforting in that she went out playing pinochle, and kicking ass as usual. I tucked a 1500 run into her casket for her to take with her. I thought I'd be really sad for a long time, then realized that now I can 'talk' to her whenever I want instead of having to get her on the phone. Bless you, my friend.

t.