remote area called The Bored.
Their goal: seek out the truth about the legend of The Bored Witch
Scene: The threesome come across a local named Marley, who has a story to tell
Marley: There was this loner BB named Rustin Silver who kidnapped seven young BBs
many years ago and brought them to an unused forum and logged them off, permanently.
He’d lead them to an old political thread in pairs, forcing one to read every post in a corner
as he logged off the other.
Silver turned himself in to the moderators, but contended he was terrorized by the spirit of
Beebs Kedward, a witch terminated in the early days of the Bored. She promised to leave him
alone if he logged off the BBs, but Silver was later terminated, too.
Mini: That doesn’t make any sense
Marley: Well now, this ain’t exactly a high-class promo, now is it?
Mini: You got that right. Now what about Beebs the witch? I’ve never heard of her.
Marley: That’s because her curse is still out there. Many left the Bored and vowed
never to utter Beebs’ name again.
Scene: Next, they wander along and encounter Frank and BiT, two more locals
Frank: So you say you’re making a promo? We’ll. Okay, I’ll tell you what I know.
I seen the witch known as Beebs in the chat room one day. I swear she was half-human,
half beast. I got me out of the chat room real quick.
BiT: It’s been said that some of the missing BBs showed up in the FNGD forum.
Avatars missing, all post history removed. It was total termination. Nothing left but
these odd bundles of sticks.
Scene: The three crash for the night as Mini keeps the transcripts rolling along
…but odd noises make sleep difficult. When they wake up, Mini finds something
strange outside their tent…
Mini: Woke up this morning, just like two seconds ago, and there are piles of rocks
outside of our tent. There are three, actually.
Nitrah : Are you seriously fucking positive those weren't there when we set up
camp last night?
Mini: I am seriously fucking positive these were not here. How would we've, like,
just made a campsite in between three piles of rocks, just by coincidence?
Scene: They decide to press on and see if they can find the old political thread and
the FNGD forums
Mini: We should reach the old political threads by noon. Let’s go
Eyegor: Are you sure this is the way?
Mini: Of course. Let’s go.
Scene: They spend the day searching the back forums of the Bored, trusting Mini’s cyber-skills,
only to find themselves right back where they started
Nitrah: That's the forum we saw earlier. Same one.
Mini: Uh, no...
Nitrah: YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! THIS IS A JOKE!
Mini: Uh, no...
Nitrah: THIS IS NOT FUNNY!
Mini: Nitrah, just please stop... please, please stop...
Nitrah: UH NO!
Mini: It's not the same forum, Nitrah. It's not the same forum.
Nitrah: SAME FORUM!
Mini: Look, it's not!
Nitrah: IT IS! OPEN YOUR EYES!
Mini: It's not the same forum.
Eyegor: How the fuck did we wind up in the same fucking place...
Mini: We headed toward the older posts ALL DAY! OK, we've headed toward
older posts ALL FUCKING DAY! I DON'T KNOW HOW WE ENDED UP HERE!
Scene: Frazzled, they stay in the same place they stayed the night before. Mini and Nitrah
wake to find Eyegor is gone. To add to the fun, they find strange crosses nearby
Mini: We have to find him, but I’ve lost my motivation.
Nitrah: OK, here's your motivation. You're lost, you're angry in the back
channels of the Bored, and no one is here to help you. There's a fucking
witch and she keeps messing with us. There's no one here to help you!
She left rocks and sticks. There's no one here to help you! We were gone for
15 hours today, we ended up in the same place! There's no one here to help you,
THAT'S your motivation! THAT'S YOUR MOTIVATION!
Scene: Mini and Nitrah fail to find Eyegor, so they stay over one more night. Inside,
Mini makes a very personal addition to the transcripts
Mini: I just want to apologize to Nitrah's mom, and Eyegor's mom, and to all BBs.
I am so sorry! Because it was my fault. I was the one who brought them here.
I was the one that said "keep going toward older posts". I was the one who said
that we were not lost. It was my fault, because it was my idea for this horrifically
crappy promo that no one will ever see. Everything had to be my way. And this is
where we've ended up and it's all because of me that we're here now - hungry, cold,
and hunted. I love you mom, dad. I am so sorry. What is that? I'm scared to close my
eyes, I'm scared to open them! I am so scared! I don't know what's out there. We are
going to die on this stupid Bored! I am so scared! Oh, and sorry for the snot bubbles
and the shitty acting.
Scene: After hearing screams, Mini and Nitrah leave camp to find Eyegor. While Mini
keeps the transcripts rolling, they follow his screams…
to the Rustin Silver political forum
with strange symbols
They run in and notice young BB handprints on the forum wall.
Eyegor’s voice leads them to an abandoned political thread on the lower level.
Nitrah goes first, but he is soon silenced. Mini quickly runs to find him
…then sees him standing in a corner, reading political posts
Following a scream, Mini’s transcripts (and this promo) end.
LB hosts Lyrically Speaking Winter Extravaganza
Starting January 11, 2016
Here, and nowhere else