WWTBAM Bored

A home for the weary.
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 07, 2018 11:46 am 
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Merry Man
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Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 6:20 pm
Posts: 23
Location: Hollywood
Meet TBone Noland:

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He’s just an average BB who makes sure things run on time and efficiently in cyberspace.


Scene: Life is good for TBone and his girlfriend, Sprots.

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they talk about marriage…

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and living their life together on The Bored.

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Sprots: What are you writing?

TBone: I’m making a list of all the best songs and albums of the year. I call then The Boneys.
I’m going to post them when I get back.

Sprots: Sounds exciting!


Scene: Days later, TBone, decked out in his finest sweater (and with his Boneys list), finds himself
on a journey across cyberspace…

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When his vessel encounters a major technical glitch…

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and he floats around aimlessly…

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until he lands on an uncharted part of cyberspace called The FNGD Forum

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Scene: All alone in his new home, TBone counts the days…

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and sends out a distress post…

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He waits for the search party…

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But no BBs rescue him.


Scene: TBone creates an avatar named LB, who becomes his FNGD companion.

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Scene: They try to escape…

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…but the ISPs are just too great…

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…and they return to the FNGD Forum.

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Scene: Hopeful he will be rescued soon, TBone puts his Boneys list in a box for safekeeping.

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Scene: After being stranded for four years, TBone and LB learn to adjust to life in the FNGD Forum.


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Scene: LB shows TBone how to create a lyrically speaking list.

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TBone: So I write down a bunch of lyrics and others have to figure out the song? That’s a terrible idea,
LB. No one will ever want to play that. Not ever.

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TBone: See, I’m writing down lyrics. Look how much fun this is. Woo, boy, I just can’t stop.


Scene: TBone decides he has had enough of the FNGD Forum and plans their escape.

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TBone: We’ll build a sturdy cyber-raft and this time we’ll have a shield to get past the ISPs.


LB is not so sure:

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TBone: We just might make it. Did that thought ever cross your brain? Well, regardless I
would rather take my chance out there in cyberspace, than to stay here and die in this shithole
forum spending the rest of my life talking to a goddamn AVATAR!


Scene: TBone builds a cyber-raft and stores up food and water…

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…LB comes along for the ride (so do the Boneys).

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And off they go, trudging through the open expanse of cyberspace.


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With a wave of ISPs ahead, TBone prepares his trusty cyber-raft, while LB keeps watch.

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Scene: Clear of the ISPs, TBone and LB (and the Boneys) float for days through cyberspace,
searching for The Bored.

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Scene: TBone realizes LB has begun to slip away…

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…and tries to get him back…

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TBone: LB! LB! I’m coming LB!


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…but LB drifts too far away and is logged off.

TBone: I’m sorry, LB!


Scene: Realizing he can’t rescue LB, TBone returns to his cyber-raft.

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TBone: I’m sorry, LB! I’m sorry, LB!


Scene: Now alone, TBone and the Boneys drift along through cyberspace, water and food
long gone, hope slipping away.

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TBone is awakened by the sound of a passing administrator…

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TBone: Tuba Dave, is that you?

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Scene: Tuba Dave rescues TBone and reintroduces him to The Bored. TBone immediately
seeks out Sprots.

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Sprots: You said you'd be right back.

TBone: I'm so sorry.

Sprots: Me too.


Scene: TBone realizes The Bored has changed immensely and Sprots has gone on to be
with his old friend, Weasel.

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Sprots: I always knew you were alive, I knew it. Everybody said that I had to let you go.
I love you. You're the love of my life.

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TBone: I love you too, Sprots. More than you'll ever know. I have to go, now.


Scene: TBone talks with his old friend, Weasel.

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Weasel: We deleted your account. We saved all your posts, had a party... the whole thing.

TBone: I had party?

[Weasel nods]

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TBone: Well that was nice of you.

Weasel: I know this is awkward with Sprots and me, but we thought you were logged out.

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TBone: It’s okay. We both have done the math. Sprots added it all up and...
knew she had to let me go. I added it up, and knew that I had... lost her.
Because I was never going to get out of that forum. I was going to terminate there,
totally alone. I was going to get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had,
the only thing I could control was when, and how and where it was going to happen.
But I couldn’t do it. I had power over nothing. And that's when this feeling came over me
like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow that I had to stay logged in. Somehow. I had to keep
breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never
see The Bored again. So that's what I did. I stayed logged in. I kept breathing. And one day,
my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a shield. And now, here I am.
I'm back on The Bored, chatting with you. And I've lost her all over again. I'm so sad that I don't
have Sprots. But I'm so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to
do now. I got to keep breathing. Because tomorrow, the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could
bring?

Weasel: That’s a hell of a speech. Too bad it makes absolutely no sense. You realize, of course,
that you can’t take any movie and make it into a crappy promo, right?

TBone: There have been others? I wish I could have seen them.

Weasel: I wish I would have missed them.


Scene: TBone knows he has one more important delivery to make…

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…and he returns the Boneys to The Bored.

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He's back!
TBone hosts the
2018 Boney Awards
Starting Sunday, February 18

Here on our island
and nowhere else!

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ET go home!


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 07, 2018 11:01 pm 
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No Scritches!!!
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Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2007 8:36 pm
Posts: 19822
Location: God's Country
Yay, T-Bone!

I'm glad I'm still here.

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-- In Iroquois society, leaders are encouraged to remember seven generations in the past and consider seven generations in the future when making decisions that affect the people.
-- America would be a better place if leaders would do more long-term thinking. -- Wilma Mankiller


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 9:16 am 
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Dumbass
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Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 7:20 pm
Posts: 29620
Location: Between the Suavitel and Fabuloso
SportsFan68 wrote:
Yay, T-Bone!

I'm glad I'm still here.



No tears for LB who floated away to his death? (I swear I am the Buster Possum of these promos)

lb13

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Visit my Evil Squirrel blog here: http://evilsquirrelsnest.com


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 11:09 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:21 pm
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littlebeast13 wrote:
SportsFan68 wrote:
Yay, T-Bone!

I'm glad I'm still here.



No tears for LB who floated away to his death? (I swear I am the Buster Possum of these promos)

lb13


It was a remarkable likeness of you.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 8:08 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:55 am
Posts: 27736
Location: Elsewhere
littlebeast13 wrote:
No tears for LB who floated away to his death? (I swear I am the Buster Possum of these promos)


I'm sure he landed safely on that "Lost" island.

And nothing bad could ever happen to him there...


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:56 am 
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FNGD Forum Moderator
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Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 4:24 pm
Posts: 6053
Location: State of Confusion
"I'm sure he landed safely on that "Lost" island.

And nothing bad could ever happen to him there..."


:lol: :lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 11:08 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 12, 2007 2:36 pm
Posts: 3630
Location: Texas
Unfortunately he landed here.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 11:00 pm 
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No Scritches!!!
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Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2007 8:36 pm
Posts: 19822
Location: God's Country
littlebeast13 wrote:
SportsFan68 wrote:
Yay, T-Bone!

I'm glad I'm still here.



No tears for LB who floated away to his death? (I swear I am the Buster Possum of these promos)

lb13


That's right. And take that mangy rodent with you.

_________________
-- In Iroquois society, leaders are encouraged to remember seven generations in the past and consider seven generations in the future when making decisions that affect the people.
-- America would be a better place if leaders would do more long-term thinking. -- Wilma Mankiller


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