Fireball's Fantastic 500 -- 2000s, Part I

[Pastor Fireball]

Holiday shopping is done... and not a moment too soon because I got groped by a mall Santa whom I could swear looked suspiciously like Lindsey Graham.

But now let's begin the final leg of my Top 500 countdown. Only 45 songs remain to be seen, and we will go through all of them in just four posts. Half will come from 2000-09 and the other half will come from 2010-17.

Enjoy!

#22. My Life Would Suck Without You, Kelly Clarkson (2009)

I never watched American Idol, so I missed out on Kelly Clarkson's road to stardom... and missed out on Brian Dunkleman being relevant. As much as I despise reality shows in general, I am ever grateful to Simon Cowell for paving that road for Kelly. Though there are a few of Kelly's songs that I could have put on my list, there is just something about Kelly emphasizing the word "suck" in this song title that makes me smile every time I hear it. Rock on, girl!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRM70Jw7F4M

#21. Viva la Vida, Coldplay (2008)
Boney Hall of Fame: #63

I have very little tolerance for pretentious and whiny bullcrap, so it's quite interesting to find a band like Coldplay pop up in my Top 500. Chris Martin is the modern day Michael Stipe, the undisputed master of pretentious and whiny bullcrap. You can imagine my pleasant surprise when a song like "Viva la Vida" comes out. Not to mention that this song was co-produced by Mr. Ambient himself, Brian Eno. The string intro is instantly recognizable, the lyrics are perfect, the emotion is real... I'm not ashamed to admit that this is one Coldplay song that I want to hear again and again. Also, this is the highest-ranked song on T_Bone's list to appear on my list.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvgZkm1xWPE

#20. With You, Chris Brown (2007)

Chris Brown connected on a lot of hits over the past 15 years... and almost all of them didn't involve Rihanna. This one highlighted Brown's talents as both a singer and a dancer, before he became an insufferable douchebag. Aside from Brown and Justin Timberlake, you just don't see male musicians who can dance anymore. I miss those days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmjdaBaZe8Y

#19. Peaches and Cream/Dance with Me, 112 (2001)

Like the music videos, these two singles were usually paired together, so I shall do the same here. I just love the beats used in both of these songs.

Mashup -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wl2NCXzg1FQ
"Peaches and Cream" only -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07sz_7s9LUs
"Dance with Me" only -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_L47fnApJdk

#18. This Love, Maroon 5 (2004)

Though they have been cranking out hit after hit for nearly 15 years now, Maroon 5 owe their massive successes to this, their very first Top 5 hit. Just an absolutely catchy pop/rock song that still sounds great in 2018.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPpTgCho5ZA

#17. Weapon of Choice, Fatboy Slim (2000)

Though the lyrics are rather simplistic and repetitive--like in any Fatboy Slim song--the melody to this 2000 song is downright infectious. But you know the real reason why this song is on the list: Christopher f**kin' Walken. You just can't go wrong with an entire video of Christopher Walken's dancing. Besides, I'm still bitter that this video lost to "Lady Marmalade" for Video of the Year at the 2001 MTV Video Music Awards. I will never get over that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQ7z57qrZU8

#16. Let Me Hold You, Bow Wow f/ Omarion (2005)

When people think of rap music produced solely for the purpose of making money rather than expressing anything remotely meaningful, the first name that usually comes to mind is Jermaine Dupri of So So Def. Dupri is the Michael Bey of the hip-hop world. Hardly a genius in the same way that, say, Quincy Jones or Steven Spielberg are geniuses... but even a blind pig can find a truffle once in a while. Somehow, Dupri managed to write and produce a commercially successful song that was actually quite enjoyable and sophisticated.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX2Acz35XWY

#15. Waiting on the World to Change, John Mayer (2007)

Although somebody seriously needs to give him a swift kick in the balls in regards to his infamous dumping of numerous girlfriends, John Mayer is a damn great songwriter. The message behind this song is more real now as it was when Mayer recorded it back in 2006.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBIxScJ5rlY

#14. Unwritten, Natasha Bedingfield (2006)

Dammit... this song just reminded me that I still have two unfinished novels. I really need to get back to work on them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7k0a5hYnSI

#13. Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me), Train (2001)

Here's another band who is still going strong after over a decade on the scene. The lyrics to this Top 5 hit are absolutely remarkable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc

#12. Apologize, Timbaland f/ OneRepublic (2007)

Kind of a dark and depressing song, but what a brilliant piece of work it is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSM3w1v-A_Y

We'll finish up the decade on Friday!