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PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 11:35 am 
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This was taken from a Twitter thread about movie stereotypes. It starts out with a professor, but various other characters pop up here and there. How many do you recognize?


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Hello, I'm a professor in a movie, I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.


Hello, I'm your history professor colleague in this movie. Class, who can tell me the year? What year was it that the history happened? You'll be expected to know the year, and only the most basic of facts. Why did the history happen? Who cares? Tell me the year.


Hello, I'm a professor in a movie, I have an uncanny knack for picking on Mr/Ms Who-isn't-paying-attention at this moment (I know the names of every student in my 200+ lecture) without looking up. The student is a genius who instinctively knows the answer.


Greetings colleague. In my lectures I pontificate about the nobility of my discipline without reference to specific knowledge, scholarly debates, or the dynamics of class assignments and assessment. Students squint thoughtfully, laptops absent.


I'm a scientist in a movie. No one listens to me (even though I'm 100% correct) until the last act when the sh*t has already hit the fan in a rather glorious manner. What? That's not the game we're playing?

Oh, hello, I'm a librarian at your university. I know exactly where every volume is shelved offhand, what every patron has been reading, and can recite a rare midieval tome as i pull it off the open shelves. I am also staffing the circulation desk

Great! Professor I need your help. The government recognizes you as an expert in your field so without discussion of pay, and no regards for your constitutional rights you're going to have to come with us.

I'm a mathematician in a movie (or anywhere in popular culture), all I do all day is write equations on glass.


I'm a detective in a movie who needs to ask you, a professor in a movie, a few questions. I arrive at your class just as you make your point, a bell rings, and you yell at your students about their reading/homework. A student clutches a binder to her chest and glances up at me.


Next, you wander abstractedly up to the blackboard and brood upon its chalky scribbles for a few seconds, before turning to begin the interrogation with a seemingly casual observation.


What's up, detective-in-a-movie. It's your faithful sidekick, ringing you just as you end your interview with professor-in-a-movie. You'd better get here fast because there's something you should see, though I'm not going to tell you what it is over the phone.


I'm on my way, but I'm not going to like it. But thank you in advance, sidekick-in-a-movie, for standing up for me when your wife complains about my temper while you do the washing up. But frankly it's weird to act as if dishwashers were never invented. And who dries these days?


I want to be your crime solving consulting therapist who can make blanket statements about human psychopathology that help crack difficult cases. and MY home life is perfect.


Great! Well I'm just going to lay back on this consulting couch and tell you about the time I made my parents buy me a potter's wheel. But I couldn't throw a decent pot and I knew I'd never make the school pottery team. So my dad told me about this spider that made a web. And...


Did I tell you I've been seeing things? Recently I've been plagued by these graphics that will seem really dated in less than five years.


I've eliminated the professor in a movie from our enquiries, sidekick-in-a-movie. He was just bonking the student with a binder. Why didn't he just tell us he was with her? This is all confidential. All he's done is strung things out by 45 minutes..

As the school custodian I have to vehemently protest you constantly writing equations on our glass windows. We can't clean it and all the whiteboards we purchased are not being utilised.


Hello, I'm your old colleague/love interest. We haven't spoken in years. I've walked in just as you're reaching the main point of your lecture and we've locked eyes. If my appearance surprised you, you didn't show it.


Also, I always say the name of my class at the start even in the middle of semester.


I'll be dressed in something edgy or weird at my computer desk back at HQ. Call me when you find a clue; I'll type for 3 seconds without using my mouse and then a 1080p high-def map and some WETA-animated schematics will appear on my monitor. I'll relay them to you with a quip.


Hello, I’m a musician in a movie. I can only play my instrument well after conflict/heartbreak/inspiration strikes. Then I suddenly have all the chops I’ve been missing during all those fruitless years of practicing.


Takes a deep drag from a cig. "I haven’t heard that name in years."


I’m the rather friendly colleague who expresses vague interest in your key research, but later is revealed as an arch villain seeking revenge just as you come upon a key discovery that promises to resolve an impending crisis.


Also, as you pull your ragged briefcase off the desk, can you please tell me to come see you during office hours or say that's what office hours are for?


I'm a Hollywood special ops team leader that tells my operators the mission plan as we're conducting the mission.


Hi, I’m the youngest member of this special ops team. My wife just gave birth and I’m nervous about my first mission, but confident nothing terrible will happen to me in the first scene.


Hello, I’m a teacher in a sitcom. I have only 6 students in class. It’s the only class I teach. All day long. Sometimes they drop by my home and I feed them dinner.

And as everyone is leaving, one person enters the classroom and approaches you to ask about an old student of yours!


Flashing an FBI badge. Again.


Hello, I'm a seismologist in a geologic disaster movie. I have a radical theory about earthquakes that no one believes, yet proves to be true. Only my ideas can explain the monstrously large earthquakes that are rocking the US West coast. We fix them with nukes.

I write one word on the chalkboard. I underline it. I turn and silently stare down the students. Class will now begin.


I always have lectures ready for whatever one kid appears to be going through: genetic mutation or love. I usually focus on the kid the cameras are following.


Christ, don’t look at me. I’m only auditing this class.


And I'm an angry older teen sibling yelling at my annoying little prick of a kid brother with whom I will later form an unshakeable bond after either a whimsical family friendly adventure complete with quirky side characters but w/out mom or dad, or a horrific home invasion.


Oh, you’re like the hero in a movie who only realizes something awful is about to happen because the wind starts to gust violently.


I’m a 16 year old boy. I play too many video games and smoke weed under bridges with my friends, yet I refer to my parents as mother and father


I'm the suspect's lawyer in a police procedural. You haven't seen me before. You won't see me again. I don't say anything during my client's interview, but my eyebrows are busy.


I'm the art teacher who never actualized my creative goals. My wardrobe is generic/multicultural. I lead the protests: demand fruit cocktail in the cafeteria be replaced with sprouts. The movie ends with a showcase of my students' exceptional successes and I cry quiet tears.


Professor: So this is when we talk about the meaning of life— *bell rings* *prof yelling over the clatter* DONT FORGET TO READ PAGES 50-900 IN YOUR TEXTBOOK OR ELSE YOU FAIL THE COURSE AND ALSO THE 30 PAGE ESSAY IS DUE IN 10 MINUTES


If you reach your point before the end of class you have no choice but to say "class dismissed," and then, as everyone looks around sheepishly wondering why class is ending early repeat, "I said class dismissed."


Hi, I’m the professor’s beautiful, very well-toned girlfriend. I spend my evenings in yoga pants & midriff-baring spaghetti-strapped t-shirt. I walk around sawing a dry toothbrush back & forth in my mouth while we discuss your life & problems.



Your lecture typically includes the assertion, “if we could solve the problem of x, then we would unlock the mystery of life”


Don't know about you, but in my movie I lecture in Prada skit suits or matching sweater-skirt outfits and when I talk about feminism and/or sexual politics it is always mortifying.


You begin every lecture of every class, even introductory classes, "Since the beginning of time, Man has struggled with his own mortality" and if you sometimes forget to attach elbow patches to your tweed sports jacket you feel like such an imposter


I’m a scientist in a sci-fi movie and I propose that the overwhelming alien fleet attacking earth is controlled by a single command ship that isn’t that well guarded.


If movies have taught us anything about academics, it’s that they do their very best work while in the process of reconciling with their former spouse.


I’m a lonely white dude that works from home, but I’m not a writer, so I have a drafting table behind me so everyone will know I’m an Architect. Or if I’m married, then I’m an architect that works in an office tower downtown.


As the main character starts to leave, you call him/her back. He/she tells his/her friends to go on without him/her.


Hello, I’m a rural meteorologist and/or geologist on the Syfy channel movie. I’m the hero!


Alright mate. I'm a dock worker in a movie. I witness something terrible and or grandiose occurring. I slowly take off my woollen hat and stare in wonder.


Hi, Professor. Could I also come find you in your incredibly large office with windows and expensive antique furniture?


Well, sure. All instructors are tenured here and have large corner offices where they continuously write articles they’ll publish in peer reviewed journals using only the books in their own huge office library as references.


Why can't the architects who design these magical all-corners universities do apartment buildings too?


Hi. I'm best friend of murder victim. Even though the police come to my work place to question me about dead friend I'm really busy and can only talk for a few minutes. Or I'll just unload this truck or bus these busy tables as we talk instead of giving my full attention.


Hi, I'm your secretary. Yes, you are famous enough a professor to warrant his own secretary. I will do nothing but sit and yell "You can't go in there!" when a student/colleague/police officer barges into your office during a meeting. "It's alright, Esther," you will assure me.


Professor, I’m a lawyer in the movie. You published a paper I found on a 1983 microfiche. You need to come testify to a jury this afternoon as an undisclosed surprise expert witness. Otherwise my client gets the electric chair.


Hi, im a soon to be murder victim in a movie/tv show, when i hear a noise that alerts me that someone is in my home. I yell out ‘hello?’ Announcing my position and act surprised when i get attacked.


‘Sup. I’m the hero in a movie, I made it from one side of the planet to the other, killing all your goons along the way without you finding out. After your death I will blow up your compound and haphazardly walk away with not a care about being burned/exploded


Hello, I’m an author in a movie. I’ve been paid a huge advance for a book I can’t write. My editor comes to my house with flowers to encourage me. Luckily, once I’ve solved this crime, I’ll write a different book in one week. My editor won’t care and it will be a NYT bestseller.


Hello I’m an author/playwright in a movie. I am a man. Pretty much always a man unless I write mysteries or romance. Then I’m a woman but often a bit sad.


Hi , I’m a medical examiner in a movie who with quirky disregard shows you the detective a dissected corpse while eating my lunch as you look upon me with equal part disgust and amusement.


Hi! I'm a female paramedic who stands back to let the guys do everything while I write on the clipboard. On average, my team does full blown mega-code CPR for 90 seconds before the patient sputters and comes back to life. They always blink before asking "where am I"


Hi. I'm the maverick male paramedic who ignores protocol and just slaps the patient while screaming "Breathe goddammit!" before they splutter back to life.


Hi. I’m an off-duty detective. I can’t talk now because I’ve run out of pushpins and yarn for my murder wall and I have to get to Michaels before they close.


Hello, I am the police captain of the murder police. I tell my staff “let’s get this guy” which motivates and inspires the staff to in fact, get the guy.


I'm a teacher in a TV programme, I only turn up for work after all the children have arrived.


Hello. I am a horse in a movie. I constantly whinny, nicker, snort in response to what the human actors around me are doing, even while at a full gallop. Oh, and I can gallop all day.



Hello, I'm a museum worker in a movie. I'm the only person hero sees as he comes in. The ancient and precious incunabula he needs is coincidentally open at the right page. I man the desk but also translate ancient Mayan - he knows it, audience doesn't - on minimum wage.


I'm an overworked and jaded emergency doctor who can bring back flatlining patients with 3 hits of the defibrilator. Oh, and I'm about to save the world from a killer virus - I'm also an expert on genetics and virology.


Also your lecture is about the central theme of the movie, but it’s presented merely as realistic window dressing.


Oh, hi! I’m your colleague down the hall. An administrator skulked in the doorway right in the middle of my lecture, and I was compelled to pause class in order to speak to him.


Nice to meet you. I’m that one black student in your class with no story line and no lines to recite.

hello, I am a therapist in movies. I often hang with my clients in public spaces where we have deep insights and emotionally physical interactions that fix these broken people. and MY home life is perfect.


I'm a journalist in a movie, and someone left me me notes on a bar napkin that the professor is a suspect a really big crime. No one will believe it. I'll try to bully it out of you by threatening to run the story on Page 1 whether you speak to me or not. Got a smoke?


Well, now. I’m the police tech who can miraculously ‘enhance’ that grainy bit of CCTV footage and zoom in so that you can see the killer’s reflection in the victim’s wedding ring. Everything will be controlled by me hammering furiously at the keyboard, and I’ll never hit ‘ENTER’.


Hello. I'm a movie character who's good with technology and I will hack into a classified government database in under a minute regardless of any distraction.


Hello. I’m a bartender in a movie. I’m always cleaning already dried glasses. I also read minds as I respond to “I’ll have a beer” with no additional details.

Hello. I’m the eccentric Sage With All The Dusty Old Books. I shuffle them around with my bad back. Either they are already bookmarked directly to your plot point, or I have this knack for opening right to the page. My bifocals aren’t really bifocals. I always peer this way.


I'm an unknown spy in the opening cred-- I'm dead, but I have the secret plans on a crumpled up bit of paper in my lifeless palm.



I’m a banker in a movie I can push a couple of keys and tell you all about a complex transaction without needing an account number or name. Or I can act like it’s a huge imposition to help even though you’ve ID’d yourselves as cops working on a tight timeline


True But I’ll only cave if they mention the circumstances of the crime I’ll falter & say “Wait, you don’t mean the one on the news!?!”

Then I’ll lock eyes with one of the cops, look over his head to make sure my boss isn’t looking and start typing “You didn’t get this from me”


Honk honk. I’m the detective’s car and there’s always a parking spot right out front when we get there.


I'm a tenured professor in a movie/TV show, and I'm still writing my thesis. Alternatively, I hold five PhDs, which makes employers snap me up as very learned rather than unable to commit to a field.


I am all of you - & I'm never able to get baristas to put any actual liquid in my take-away coffees, my urgently packed suitcase never reflects the weight of the dresses,with hangers attached, that I've shoved into it & I will never- ever- say goodbye at the end of a phone call


I am the person who will agree to meet you but never give a time or place.


And, as I neglected to pack a suitable posh frock, I will arrive wearing a perfectly-cut, figure-hugging evening dress that I bought for no budget from the hotel's tiny shop, which usually only sells soap, & altho I didn't pack any hair grips, my hair will be in an amazing updo.


I’m a drama teacher in a movie. I sit in the dark in the auditorium and shout things at the stage. In this way, I direct a rousing end of year performance which changes students lives/relationships/self-knowledge


Sorry I’m late! I’m the comic relief bumbling oaf. I would have been here earlier, but I was running up the stairs while tucking my shirt in and I tripped and fell into a secretary named Candi, carrying an extremely large stack of papers that flew everywhere!


And while your secretary who only works for you protects you from that wayward guest, you relax in your leather armchair in your large, wood paneled office with leaded glass windows, the Persian carpet, and your name stenciled on the frosted glass in the door.


Still better than the philosophy professor I had who showed up high out of his mind and happily rambled about ducks for an hour.


I’m an eyewitness to a crime, I will unhappily allow a pair of police officers into my home to question me and will cut the interview short when I want to get back to some vague task


"Listen, officers, I really wish I could stay and chat but theres a situation I need to attend to at my office. I'd be happy to talk more if you'd want to schedule an appointment with my secretary, giving me just enough time to solve the issue youve just brought to my attention."


Hi! I'm the foreign exchange student who is overwhelmed by such uniquely American concepts like "friendship" and "coffee", yet can effortlessly understand every single word people around me say.


Oh, hey, it's Professor one-time child prodigy who is the only expert in an ancient language and whose continually disregarded theory is about to be proven correct!


Btw, your Tweed jacket is fantastic and your glasses are thick enough to show you're smart, but not too think to make others uncomfortable. Oh, and your hair is the right amount of messy


The main magical property of those glasses, though, is how they don't distort the view of the wearer's face through them in the slightest; cheekbones viewed through glasses line up perfectly with the part outside. It's almost as if they had no optical effect at all.


Hello, I’m a science teacher in a movie. I know everything about every area of physics, can cure cancer, am a master of chemistry, and am an expert in electronics. I probably know lots of history too.


Hello fellow movie characters. I own a movie record shop that is several thousand square feet of aching coolness which is solvent despite you being my only customer. Would you like to buy a record that anchors your sentiment at the time?


Hello, I’m the ambiguously ethnic uni graduate student in this TV mystery, and my lack of social skills and suspicious dedication to some obscure intellectual discipline that the audience doesn’t give a rat’s ass about make me inherently likely to be the murderer.


I’m the one of the two guys whose only job was to carry a giant pane of glass across a busy street. After I got fired I used my last remaining cash to set up this watermelon stand.


Hello, I’m a government agent in a movie. We need your expertise to solve a humanity-threatening problem and if you don’t immediately agree to help without a pay offer or any details of the job, I’ll threaten to ask your rival academic of the opposite gender


Hi, I am an artist in a movie. I work in my garret/studio only when divinely inspired, painting furiously and very fast. It is very hot, I am sweating. If I am female I wear very few clothes and have paint in my sexily tousled hair.


Hello, I'm an improv comic in a movie. I am always, always on.

Always.


I'm your old college roommate and former partner. I've just come at the end of class "Bill, I know it's been a long time, but our reconciliation is going to have to wait. You need to call Gillian (your peer and ex-wife) now." "But isn't she in Borneo?" "She's back Bill. Call her"


I'm guessing you are also prepared to dismiss the entire class at the exact moment you pick up on the presence of your now mystery-solving former colleague in the back row.


Replying to @_roryturnbull
I am the female college counsellor / psychologist and I am romantically involved with my client, the troubled good looking protagonist.



Good day, I’m a librarian in a horror movie. I always know the specific book you need to uncover the horrible backstory without looking it up first. You can tell I’m the librarian because I’m always carrying around a stack of book and wear glasses.



Hey there, librarian. I’m that off putting mysterious person known to be crazy by the town who knows exactly how to kill the ancient evil unlocked by the main character.


But you've been banned from the library, so I'm going to chase you off right before you tell the protagonists vital information.


That’s okay. It’s because we were once friends before you thought I went crazy and you’ll realize at the last minute I was right and will know exactly where to find me to tell the protagonist.


I am a famous historian in a movie. I have a posh accent and pontificate rather boringly. If you’re lucky, some medieval knights ride by and run me through with a lance.


I'm a student in your class. I give a brilliant answer to a question but it's wrong.


Hello, I'm a DJ in a movie, and with one swift cross-fade I can make the whole club go wild and start dancing to a chart-friendly EDM smash hit just by shouting "Are you ready to party?" over the microphone.


Hi, I’m a journalist covering the story. I just did some research by looking at back issues of the newspaper on microfilm and spooling to the exact page I needed in less than five seconds.


Hi, this is your cameraman. I’m outside, waiting in the cold, drinking a hot cup of coffee with a haggard look on my face, wishing you would hurry up... we’ve got a professor to interview.


I am a hacker in a movie, and I need seventeen flatscreen monitors active at all times. I assume this is because hackers are too cool to use alt-tab.


Hi, I’m IT support and I have absolutely no idea what your email software is doing with all those shrinking and flying envelopes. And what instant messenger service is this, pray?


Hello, I'm a female student in movie. I'm severely attracted to you and will make your wife jealous when she walks in while I am seducing you.


I'm a principal in a movie. I don't care how you teach, I'm too busy chasing after a single troublemaker while shouting his name. Please help me find my Jean Valjean.


Hi Prof, I'm the reluctant, low-performing student with potential who was caught leaving early and reminded to visit your office hours. Later, you'll give me a individualized extra credit assignment that will change my life.


Excuse me... I can clearly see that the hooded figure in the back of the darkened lecture hall is an old acquaintance.



Dear protaganist and/or protaganist's nerdy sidekick: please feel free to interrupt my lectures at will, even if I am currently in the middle of a teaching. You won't have to wait for me to be done, I'll merely say "excuse me" to class & duck out, or will end class abruptly.


What's amazing is they come find you in class rather than your office. Or where you usually are, a long faculty meeting or at home marking in bed.


Does a troubled yet gifted student cross your path one day? Do you save his life through teaching him the nuances of your field and in turn does he remind you of your own humanity (from which you were previously alienated from in a dogged, ego-driven pursuit of success)?


I’m the aerospace engineer than can design and build a FTL spaceship engine from an old computer hard drive and some random thermodynamics equations. There’s never a test flight. I then disappear and no one notices.


I always start my lectures with “Today we’re going to talk about...”


Horror Movie protagonist here, currently walking through an eerily silent and poorly lit area, I suspect a second character in the movie is about to appear from the shadows and put their hand on my shoulder at any minute


Hello. I’m a doctor in a movie. I meet an adorable dying child with a very complex medical history and immediately realize that everything every other doctor has done was wrong and cure the child in a matter of days.


I'm a mom in a movie. Every morning I make a full breakfast for my family but they only grab a bite of something on the way out because they are always running late.


Hi. I’m a high school teacher in an inner-city school. I have eight students in my class, each one of whom is a cringeworthy ethnic stereotype and yet also inspirational. I turn them from remedial readers to AP whizzes in one semester through rock lyrics and personal journals.


Hi, I'm your teen son who has grown distant, establishing a parent-son vacuum that will be filled by a gifted but awkward student in your class. I listen to loud guitar music on headphones when you ask how my day has been. There is a skateboard in my room. It has never been used.


I’m a 23 year-old aspiring writer and I have, of course, my own apartment in a fashionable part of Brooklyn.

I’m the villain in a movie, and we’re not so different, you and I...

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 5:24 pm 
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Some of those seem vaguely familiar...

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 11:46 pm 
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tlynn78 wrote:
Some of those seem vaguely familiar...



Well hello everybody. I'm the exceedingly hot housewife from a Bored novel. You can usually find me in the shower where I seem more interested in running hot, soapy water over my feminine curves than I am actually trying to get clean. I also like to shower with the bathroom door unlocked, even if the main protagonist with the story is visiting me. In fact, he seems to have just sneaked inside now. I need to not act surprised to see him through the thick layer of steam my 8,000 gallon hot water heater is putting out and instead flash him a sultry smile over my shoulder rather than reach for my tube of mace. I do hope we both remembered to take our respective pills...

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 7:07 am 
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Hello, I’m a teen female protagonist in a movie. I’m stunningly attractive, though no boy pays attention to me. I am impossibly witty and my family is super cool. I’ll spend the entire movie trying to prove my worth and at the end, will realize the only one that matters is me.

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Devin Drake and the Haunted Balcony


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 8:30 am 
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Hi, I'm the next-door neighbor or landlord of the murder victim. I just spent three minutes telling the cops nothing that they didn't already know but if you study my face, you'll remember that you've seen me on dozens of other cop shows. I really don't have any function here in this scene but the screenwriter remembered the principle of Chekov's gun, so you'll see me again in the final act and be completely surprised to learn that I'm the killer.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 8:48 am 
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Hi, I'm a lawyer in a movie. I say absolutely whatever I want in court and then I say "Withdrawn."


Quote:
Hi, I’m the judge in that same movie. I’m an old, wise black man. “I’m going to allow it,” however: “You’re on a very short leash.”


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Hi, I'm a band in a movie. One of our members brings a new song to rehearsal. "Just something I've been working on." None of us have ever heard it, but the very first time we play it, it's completely polished and sounds just like the classic version the audience knows and loves.

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The Right Hand Rule
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Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man


Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

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Just finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

Up Next:
Devin Drake and The Roller-Ghoster
Devin Drake and the Haunted Balcony


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 9:12 am 
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Hi, I'm a relatively young person in a movie. I've been told I have an extremely rare disease that's almost always fatal, but I'm going to look and act like I'm in perfect health up until the next-to-last scene I'm in, when I will suddenly collapse, and in the next scene look like I'm 90 years old and at death's door.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 9:18 am 
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Hi, I’m a police Captain in a movie. The Comissioner is on my ass about this loose cannon detective but I’m going to give him one more chance to do this by the book, or I’ll have his badge.

Hi I’m a passenger in a cab in a movie. Regardless of what the fare is, I get out of the cab, hand the driver some bills through his open window and say, “Keep the change.”

Hi, I'm a novelist in a movie. I never, ever actually write anything, though I complain a lot about writers' block. And, when my first novel is complete, it gets published a few months later, and my publisher sends me on a book tour to promote it!

Hi I'm a comic in a movie.You 'll see me standing in front of a brick wall and pointing to another woman in the audience and shouting "She knows what I'm talkin' about!" there is always raucous laughter and a round of applause.

Hi, I’m a woman in an action movie and I wear high heels everywhere I go. I can even keep them on while running through treacherous terrain. There’s a man trying to save my life but I won’t do what he tells me because I am my own woman.

I've just done my grocery shopping in a movie. I'm walking into my kitchen carrying a brown paper bag because I shop at the one place on Earth where they still have those. There's celery sticking out of the bag. The phone rang just as I arrived. I will never eat that celery.

Hi, I’m a public records clerk in a movie. I have at my fingertips vast quantities of documents that will immediately prove your case, help you find the runaway, etc., but i refuse to help you, forcing you to resort to trickery, flattery, or creating a distraction.

Hi I'm a patron watching a movie in the theater. I'm upset that you are trying to get past me because I'm holding popcorn, a huge drink and Raisinetts and DAMMIT now I spilled them on myself!

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The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man


Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

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The Dragon's Song

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 9:22 am 
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Merry Man
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Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 6:20 pm
Posts: 26
Location: Hollywood
Hello, I'm a character played by LB in any crappy promo. I will die in a spectacular way.

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ET go home!


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 9:49 am 
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Queen of Wack

Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:38 am
Posts: 9621
Location: Location.Location.Location
Hello. I'm an illiterate, ex-meth addict who works in the dump, but I have mad rocket construction skills and will blow up the mega asteroid in this sequel/prequel.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 10:26 am 
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Dumbass
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Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 7:20 pm
Posts: 29683
Location: Between the Suavitel and Fabuloso
Steven Spielbored wrote:
Hello, I'm a character played by LB in any crappy promo. I will die in a spectacular way.



Yo! I'm a game meister on a message board. I'll announce that my next spectacular game will begin on such and such a date despite having not spent a single minute actually working on it. Then I'll show up a few days before the game is supposed to start and announce that it's being postponed a week. Two people will chime in that it's alright and they'll be ready for when I finally get my head out of my ass and start putting it together. Everybody else will not even notice, or had no idea there was going to be a game. Then I'll be offed in a crappy promo out of revenge...

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 10:46 am 
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FNGD Forum Moderator
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Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 4:24 pm
Posts: 6095
Location: State of Confusion
Hello, I'm Johnny Cash.


Oh, I guess there should've been a spoiler alert there. I don't seem to quite have the hang of this...

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 2:18 pm 
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Director of Promos
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Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:42 pm
Posts: 3702
Location: Literary Circles
Image

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Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man


Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

With agent:
The Dragon's Song

Just finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

Up Next:
Devin Drake and The Roller-Ghoster
Devin Drake and the Haunted Balcony


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2019 12:57 pm 
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Director of Promos
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Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:42 pm
Posts: 3702
Location: Literary Circles
Hello, I'm a female motorcycle rider in a movie. When I take my helmet off, my long blonde hair will cascade down my back and will look perfect after I shake my head. Then I'll toss my helmet to the dude nearby and the force will take his breath away, if my looks hadn't already.

_________________
Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man


Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

With agent:
The Dragon's Song

Just finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

Up Next:
Devin Drake and The Roller-Ghoster
Devin Drake and the Haunted Balcony


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2019 1:56 pm 
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Queen of Wack

Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:38 am
Posts: 9621
Location: Location.Location.Location
Hello, I'm that helmet catching dude in a movie. I ride a scooter, have a sad stubble but wistful, soulful eyes and that blonde chick will need my mad rocket construction skilz to save her horse rescue farm and the earth.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2019 8:18 am 
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Director of Promos
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Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:42 pm
Posts: 3702
Location: Literary Circles
Hi, I'm a wrapped Christmas present in a movie. Unlike real-life presents, I will conveniently have a separately wrapped top section that comes right off without removing any wrapping paper. My cousin the birthday present says hi!, too.

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Available now:
The Secret At Haney Field: A Baseball Mystery
The Right Hand Rule
Center Point
Dizzy Miss Lizzie
Running On Empty
The Tick Tock Man


Visit my website: http://www.rmclarkauthor.com

With agent:
The Dragon's Song

Just finished:
Devin Drake and The Family Secret

Up Next:
Devin Drake and The Roller-Ghoster
Devin Drake and the Haunted Balcony


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