WWTBAM Bored

Meet TBone Nash, a really smart guy:




Scene: TBone enrolls at a wonderful placed called The Bored. Professor Krox welcomes the new members




Krox: BBs won the war. BBs broke the Japanese codes... and built the A-bomb. BBs... like you. In medicine or economics,
in technology or space, battle lines are being drawn. To triumph, we need posts. Publishable, applicable posts.



Krox: Now who among you will be the next LB? The next Tangredi? Who among you will be the vanguard of democracy,
freedom, and discovery? Today, we bequeath The Bored's future into your able hands. Welcome to The Bored, gentlemen.




TBone: Sir, none of that is true and it doesn’t make any sense. I’m pretty sure you can’t take just any movie and
butcher it like this.



Krox: Welcome to your promo, kid.



Scene: TBone sets to work trying to figure out the theme of a Wacky Wednesday LS list.



until he realizes there is no theme…



…or Wacky Wednesday.


Scene: TBone meets a BB named Weasel



Weasel: You’re so serious, TBone. You really need to learn to chill.

TBone: What would you suggest?



Weasel: Listen to music, dude. I’ll bet you’ll find some really good songs on the radio. It may even help
you with Lyrically Speaking.

TBone: Music, huh?




TBone meets Lizbit, a young BB and music lover



Lizbit: What are you doing, Mr. Bone?




TBone: I’m writing down some of the songs I’ve been listening to.

Lizbit: You know what you should do, Mr. Bone? You should make a list of your favorite songs of the year,
order them and post the list for all to see.

TBone: I may just do that. Now, what should I call them? How about the Lizzy Awards?



Lizbit: Oh thank you, Mr. Bone.


TBone: (in disguise) Get me out of this promo!




Scene: TBone meets Beebs, a beautiful undergrad, and who, if all goes well, will not die in this promo






Scene: They have an existential discussion about The Bored




Beebs: How big is the Bored?

TBone: Infinite.

Beebs: How do you know?



TBone: I know because all the data indicates it's infinite.

Beebs: But it hasn't been proven yet.

TBone: No.



Beebs: You haven't seen it.

TBone: No.

Beebs: How do you know for sure?

TBone: I don't, I just believe it.



Beebs: It's the same with love I guess.

TBone This makes absolutely no sense.



Beebs: It does to me, TBone. It does to me.



Scene: Beebs discovers that all is not right with TBone.



Beebs: These people you’ve been talking to, Weasel and Lizbit, no one else can see them. They’re called
merrymen.




TBone: Merrymen?



Beebs: Yes. What are they telling you?

TBone: Make a list of the best songs of the year and post them.



Beebs: Who would want to read that? You need help TBone. We’ll get you the finest doctor in the land.
If you refuse, I’m going to jump out this window.



TBone: Okay, okay. You’re not supposed to croak in this promo, remember?

[Later that day]



Beebs: Get me the hell out of this promo or you’re fired.


Scene: TBone is approached by Esto, who claims to be an agent with the US government



Esto: We need your help, TBone.



TBone: With what?




Esto: A list of your favorite songs of the year.

TBone: You’re one of those merry-thingies aren’t you? Why don’t you people leave me alone!



Lizbit: Who you callin’ ‘you people?’”



Esto: I’m just as merryman, but get me out of this promo!



Scene: TBone’s condition gets worser and worser…





Until one day he has a breakthrough…



And he realizes he can live with both BBs and merrymen in his head. He completes his list of his
favorite songs of the year and burns them onto CDs.


Scene: TBone breaks the news to Lizbit



TBone: I’ve made the list of my favorite songs of the year.

Lizbit: That’s great, Mr. Bone.

TBone: Unfortunately, I’ve decided to change the name to The Boneys. Are you okay with that?



Lizbit: No! I hate you, Mr. Bone. And you can bite me!


Scene: TBone is recruited by the Admins to crack the latest Tangredi







TBone works on it for weeks.




and finally solves it




Scene: Years later, TBone (slightly older) accepts an award for his accomplishments on The Bored



TBone: I've always believed in The Boneys, in logic and reason. But after a lifetime of such pursuits:
I ask What truly is logic? Who decides reason? My quest has taken me to the physical, the metaphysical,
the delusional, and back. I have made the most important discovery of my career - the most important
discovery of my life. The Boneys. It is only in these songs that any logic or reasons can be found.

[looking at and speaking to Beebs]

I am only here tonight because of you. You are the only reason I am. You are all my reasons. Thank you.



Beebs (slightly older): It still doesn’t make any sense.



The 2019 Boney Awards
Presented By TBone
Starting Monday, February 25
On this beautiful Bored
And nowhere else

Wowsers! I lasted a whole promo! F#$+@ing A!!!

I am so excited! I got my first ever part in a promo, and it's a real role -- with lines and smiles and anger and emotion, not just some "random dog plays with small child in park" kind of extra. And I get to wear a costume and shoes! Even better, I get to play a real girl who might be a merryman who some people can't see. Layers upon layers. Whoohoo!

I can pull this off. I am an actress!

Thank you for believing in me, Mr. Director. I won't let you down.

But when does the part where I talk to Latka and Elaine until Louie yells at us to get back to work?

Lizbit wrote:I am so excited! I got my first ever part in a promo, and it's a real role -- with lines and smiles and anger and emotion, not just some "random dog plays with small child in park" kind of extra. And I get to wear a costume and shoes! Even better, I get to play a real girl who might be a merryman who some people can't see. Layers upon layers. Whoohoo!

I can pull this off. I am an actress!

Thank you for believing in me, Mr. Director. I won't let you down.

Can I have your autograph?

Yay, T-Bone! Looking forward to it!

Steven Spielbored wrote:

"....all is not right with TBone".

This is in all likelihood the most accurate statement issued in any incarnation of The Bored.

Thank you, Mr. Bored Promo Director.


I may have to start doing an acting version of the Boneys in order to make sure Lizbit gets proper recognition for her outstanding performance here.


And congratulations, Beebs, for not dying in this one. I'm guessing the Director of Promos figured that making you play my love interest in this promo was bad enough, that killing you off on top of that would just be cruel and sadistic.

T_Bone0806 wrote:

Steven Spielbored wrote:

"....all is not right with TBone".

This is in all likelihood the most accurate statement issued in any incarnation of The Bored.

Sometimes the script writes itself.

Jesus Christ, I didn't even make it to the promo to get killed off this time. One mention, and it was already in the past tense...

lb13

littlebeast13 wrote:Jesus Christ, I didn't even make it to the promo to get killed off this time. One mention, and it was already in the past tense...

lb13

Sometimes the script writes itself.