WWTBAM Bored

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal as Dalton.

Road House is my all-time favorite B-movie, and this remake is a travesty. Jake Gyllenhaal is buff enough for the role, but he's absolutely wrong for the part. Patrick Swayze was the epitome of cool; Gyllenhaal always acts like he downed a few energy drinks before the cameras rolled. The only thing the remake has going for it is Conor McGregor as one of the bad guy goons (wrestler Terry Funk had a similar role in the original). Otherwise, the original had Sam Elliott, Ben Gazzara, and Kelly Lynch as the supporting cast with the Jeff Healey Band as the house band. The remake has a handful of lackluster nobodies. This is one project that never should have been made.

Ironically, the movie was originally going to have Ronda Rousey in the Swayze/Gyllenhaal role off a script by Nick Cassavetes. That project has been floating around since 2016. At least, that idea had some promise. This one promises to be nothing more than mindless fisticuffs.

I thought you posted bigger.

Vandal wrote: ↑

Sat Jan 27, 2024 6:08 pm

I thought you posted bigger.

Be nice.

Now available on Prime Video.

Well, it wasn't terrible, but it's no Road House, either. Jake Gyllenhaal substitutes wise cracking for Patrick Swayze's zen coolness, and Conor McGregor is a tougher opponent than the guys from the original movie, but that's it. The photography of the big fight scene between Gyllenhaal and McGregor was poorly staged with the camera trying to imitate a fist going back and forth. The big bad guy is a snotty rich kid trying to become a snottier, richer kid. The bar itself is a tiki bar, not a roadhouse, and they substitute five house bands at different times for the Jeff Healey Band. Also, there's no Sam Elliott; instead Dalton befriends a teenage girl and her father who own the local bookstore. Dalton's girlfriend is still a doctor, but she looks more like a cute first-year med student playing doctor. And there's no big romantic scene between the two. Most of the last half hour of the movie involves a big boat chase with various explosions and crashes. The only new bit of business I enjoyed was when one of the bad guys got eaten by a crocodile (you didn't see that in the original).

Put someone like Scott Adkins or Frank Grillo in the lead role and this would have been a decent streaming vehicle on TubiTV or the Roku Channel. Gyllenhaal elevates it somewhat but not to the level of what you'd expect of a theatrical release or the B-level hall of fame like the original. I'd give it a B- to a C+.