Top ten fine-print disclaimers on geoffil's free voucher

[AlphaDummy]

10) Upgrade from cargo class requires purchase of full-fare ticket

9) Voucher valid only on flights between ORD and MDW

8) Structural integrity of aircraft not guaranteed if cabin pressure rises above 1200 PSI

7) Restroom at rear of cabin requires additional $98 user fee; door latch mechanism will only accept $2 bills; see website for details

6) In-flight turbulence may result in amusement-ride-simulation surcharge

5) Voucher for free flight does not imply free landing, and should not be so construed

4) Company makes no guarantee of in-flight entertainment other than flatulent flight attendant

3) Seat cushion must be returned to aircraft following water landing

2) Passenger must demonstrate knowledge of proper autopilot inflation techniques

1) Offer of free airfare not applicable to employees of WGAS or to former game-show contestants

[ulysses5019]

10) Upgrade from cargo class requires purchase of full-fare ticket

9) Voucher valid only on flights between ORD and MDW

Structural integrity of aircraft not guaranteed if cabin pressure rises above 1200 PSI

7) Restroom at rear of cabin requires additional $98 user fee; door latch mechanism will only accept $2 bills; see website for details

6) In-flight turbulence may result in amusement-ride-simulation surcharge

5) Voucher for free flight does not imply free landing, and should not be so construed

4) Company makes no guarantee of in-flight entertainment other than flatulent flight attendant

3) Seat cushion must be returned to aircraft following water landing

2) Passenger must demonstrate knowledge of proper autopilot inflation techniques

1) Offer of free airfare not applicable to employees of WGAS or to former game-show contestants

Did Tub-o-Dave write these?

[kayrharris]

These will probably be posted on their website in short order.

Have you applied for a position as a writer for Letterman? It looks like a perfect fit to me.

[silvercamaro]

Excellent, AD!

Recrecrecrecrec

[frogman042]

Puts my lame (and obvious) comment to shame. Bravo!!!

---Jay(Yahtzee!!!!)

[marrymeflyfree]

4) Company makes no guarantee of in-flight entertainment other than flatulent flight attendant

On your next flight, ask your FA if he/she is a crop duster.

[peacock2121]

AD - you are a very funny boy!

[geoffil]

AD,

You are too much. You have such a great sense of humor. I wish you had been on our flight so you could have provided our inflight entertainment. The 3 hours in ST. Louis would have felt like 3 minutes with your clever, witty comments.

[ulysses5019]

AD,

You are too much. You have such a great sense of humor. I wish you had been on our flight so you could have provided our inflight entertainment. The 3 hours in ST. Louis would have felt like 3 minutes with your clever, witty comments.

But the FAs might have decided to crop dust him.

[mntetn]

2) Passenger must demonstrate knowledge of proper autopilot inflation techniques

I remember this one!

[littlebeast13]

AD needs to spin off his Top 10 lists into a new Merry Man. It'd be a smash....

lb13

[ulysses5019]

2) Passenger must demonstrate knowledge of proper autopilot inflation techniques

I remember this one!

I hope you never had the opportunity to use this.

[ulysses5019]

2) Passenger must demonstrate knowledge of proper autopilot inflation techniques

I remember this one!

I hope you never had the opportunity to use this.

Unless you're really into gladiator movies.

[starfish1113]

#5 made me laugh out loud!

[frogman042]

#5 made me laugh out loud!

Whenever the pilot or flight attendent announces that 'We will be on the ground in a few minutes' I always cringe a little - there are a lot of ways to be on the ground - most of which I would not be pleased with - why can't they say 'We will be landing in a few minutes'.

---Jay (# of days to go == # of slave states that stayed with the Union in the U.S. Civil War)